Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son came home from school with a catastrophically bad report card. When I asked him for an explanation, he replied, "I'm hesitating between 'family environment' and 'heredity'." FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML
Today, I met my "grandson". Even though my son and his wife are both lily white, the child was clearly half-black. I pulled my son aside to have a word, but he said, "Her grandmother was black and she has recessive genes, it's really rare." I can't believe I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, I told my 21 year-old son he either has to break up with his girlfriend, who fills his head with lies about me, or I'd stop speaking to him. He laughed and said he'd fine with us not speaking ever again. FML
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
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Top comments
panda1o 0
hes gonna go far.
Mipz 2
You've proven yourself dumber than him.
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Comments (120)
bad_chiquita 5
Looks like he also needs work on Biology.
KONNA_fml 1
It's possible. If any of you actually stop and think about it, maybe the kid isn't thinking about it in so much depth but intelligence passed down genetically is quite possible. Think of it like how animals have survival instincts naturally. I'm not saying it's actually a real thing but try thinking outside of the box guys.
KONNA_fml 1
That is if he's actually talking about how the English language comes naturally to him and he does really good at it, then my above statement would be a reply to that. If he's talking about how he can just read, write and speak English then he's not the brightest of bulbs is he?
rallets 23
her name is fuckmebackwards, perhaps that may be of some assistance?
dtemple1110 6
That's actually not that bad of a question. At least he's thinking scientifically.
monnanon 14
Well its not too wierd a question when you know that some animals have knowledge of migratory routes or the noises they make to communicate passed down to them. Maybe there is something passed down to do with understanding your mother tongue better than others but not the actual language.
itswhateveridk 0
What an idiot.
Carlie_McCartney 1
Your son is a BIIIIG winner ;)
Mithylove 13
Someone has been playing to much Assassins Creed.
Mindhacks 4
Maybe he isn't dumb. Maybe you are just clueless. Linguists aren't sure how you learn a language. Some of them believe in the thesis that the basics of languages are passed to our children genetically and you just need to learn smaller bits of your native language to be able to speak it fluently. Look up Noam Chomsky or Steven Pinker and educate yourselves, before calling that kid an idiot.
Sionnach 10
I came here pretty much to say exactly that. So many people complaining about the kid's apparent lack of education, when I studied this during a 10 week IntroPsych class at my local community college...