Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML
Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML
Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML
Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML
Today, I was told that my son has Twitter and Facebook accounts that he uses to try to bully people online, some of which are celebrities. He does it really badly, though. FML
Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML
Today, I heard my son use the word "exacerbated". I had to look it up to see if he had correctly used it, which he had, because I couldn't remember what it meant. I'll be 23 next week. He's not even 4. FML
Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML
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Top comments
Catdragon 40
Congratulations, you've raised a dumbass.
BloodyMary666 24
What the hell was he writing about?
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Comments (36)
BloodyMary666 24
What the hell was he writing about?
Dilexar 26
obviously global warming and pollution, cmon, everyone knows that's lit.
Lol155 10
Hi OP here, it was an essay on a book he had been reading and he included it in his intro as a joke. He did lose points because of it.
PePziNL 20
Obviously it was an essay on dank memes. Full of the rarest pepes.
Catdragon 40
Congratulations, you've raised a dumbass.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Why? I doubt OP was the one who taught him that phrase.
stormy0307 16
Right, but the kid still thinks it's acceptable to use slang in an essay. So even if op didn't teach him the phrase, the kid is still a dumbass.
qteabutt 12
He just wants his essay to be lit so his teacher can give him the ok sign and the 100%. Right? Is this how the new lingo is used, god I'm getting old.
dartarien01 6
It's not just you. I'm 20 and too old to understand 19 year old.
ExtremeEncounter 32
As if there's any difference.
fuckpotato 12
Well I learned that I can't put emojis on FML.
TXfmylifer 10
Was it for French class? Maybe he meant to write "en flic" instead...
RawRawrRaw 13
"The signing of the Declaration of Independence was lit. The calligraphy was on point, not to mention Benjamin Franklin's hair was on fleek. You feel me?"
TeraBaap 21
That's just disgraceful. You say "lit" and "100%" if you want full marks.
Miss_Whipped 43
I believe it's "one hunned." :)
Jakey_Ringo 9
*one hunnit (self respect gone)
xx000o 27
The yuts of today are the fleeks of tomorrow.
SteveBassist 20
I don't even know what 'on fleek' means, but it still annoys me.
Lalala579121 28
I know, right? Thank god for Urban Dictionary.
RichardPencil 32
With that level of skill, he'll be able to get into University of Phoenix, DeVry or Trump U. Go Fightin' Donalds!
jessicapea 5
I mean, if he was writing an essay on the evolution of the English language and using it as an example of modern slang, fine. If he was writing an essay on Davy Crockett's bad ass hat, then probably not so much.