Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son came home from school with a catastrophically bad report card. When I asked him for an explanation, he replied, "I'm hesitating between 'family environment' and 'heredity'." FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML
Today, I met my "grandson". Even though my son and his wife are both lily white, the child was clearly half-black. I pulled my son aside to have a word, but he said, "Her grandmother was black and she has recessive genes, it's really rare." I can't believe I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, I told my 21 year-old son he either has to break up with his girlfriend, who fills his head with lies about me, or I'd stop speaking to him. He laughed and said he'd fine with us not speaking ever again. FML
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
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Top comments
panda1o 0
hes gonna go far.
Mipz 2
You've proven yourself dumber than him.
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Comments (120)
Midrash 5
I am Speechless
Fudgeblocks 2
School aren't what they used to be....
thepandawh0re 2
lawlzcopter
Tasniaaax3 5
Future president maybe ?
iceildor 6
Hey cant get worse then bush
shift_love 13
actually a lot of things are passed down genetically. his comprehension of the English language would be genetic. because it's what his family has been speaking for a while I'm assuming. music comprehension and artistic talent is passed down genetically so why would you assume that language couldn't be?
knight0748 5
where you get that idea? I google it, there's no case study that suggest genetics being a factor in learning any language.
kappaalpha1865 0
Music and artistic ability is not passed down genetically necessarily either.... Someone got their high school diploma online
Sionnach 10
If you'd looked for more than thirty seconds, you'd have seen that there's been a debate on genetic language acquisition going on for quite a long time, with people whose names appear in many a psych textbook - inc. Piaget, Chomsky, and Gardner - agreeing that there is a genetic component to consider. Where the opinions differ the most is Nature vs Nurture; how much of our linguistic knowledge is born into us as opposed to how much is learned.
cheer4ever96 8
Gotta love what today's children are coming to. lol
My_Nightmare 19
You're 15 years old. . .you ARE today's children!
SolemnlyLove 7
well now you can tell him that his stupidity wasnt passed down genetically and he was just born a duphus
reallytho3 11
Wuts a dumb cant? Lol
Bonghittinglover 3
Oh man this guy is gonna grow up to be the smartest person in the world! ;D
Bonghittinglover 3
Oh man this guy is gonna grow up to be the smartest person in the world! ;D
Glambert_lover 5
Wow! Well he's a teen. Give us some credit! ?