Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son came home from school with a catastrophically bad report card. When I asked him for an explanation, he replied, "I'm hesitating between 'family environment' and 'heredity'." FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML
Today, I met my "grandson". Even though my son and his wife are both lily white, the child was clearly half-black. I pulled my son aside to have a word, but he said, "Her grandmother was black and she has recessive genes, it's really rare." I can't believe I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, I told my 21 year-old son he either has to break up with his girlfriend, who fills his head with lies about me, or I'd stop speaking to him. He laughed and said he'd fine with us not speaking ever again. FML
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
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Top comments
panda1o 0
hes gonna go far.
Mipz 2
You've proven yourself dumber than him.
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Comments (120)
iChel413 6
There is something about language and genetics. I just cant think of it. It was in my psychology 1101 book. So maybe he misinterpreted something somewhere?
DRE140 0
Damn, just damn
urdirtyolduncle 15
5 & 53-- Can't tell if trolling... or just very stupid.
Dreamcatcher619 6
So?.. Who cares, not me! And another 40% probs don't either. Like if ur part of the 40%
TheNewGuy03 29
I hate any comment that says "like this if you agree with me!" It's basically an announcement to the entire internet that the commenter is a pole-smoking, attention-whoring cockweasel.
mooseluver4life 5
Haha how do these kids come up with this stuff?!
livlifelaugh7 4
he's a smart one ;)
mikesols 4
generics may play a role in the learning of language, but as to what language? it's unlikely it plays any role.
beveywevey 5
I hope he's pretty, cuz otherwise he's ******!
catnip1997 0
You don't need a comma after today.
WOLFEYES72 2
5 is stupid, 53 is trolling.