Today, my son came home from school with a catastrophically bad report card. When I asked him for an explanation, he replied, "I'm hesitating between 'family environment' and 'heredity'." FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sold all of my son's games and gadgets because he got a horrible report card. It turned out that the school made some sort of a mistake and it wasn't his actual report card. He actually got great grades. I tried to apologize but he told me to fuck off. FML
Today, the mother of one of my students bitched me out about her son's poor grades. He lazes around all day, paying no attention and being a constant nuisance. But, she says it's not his fault, and demands that I give him better grades so he won't get "self-esteem" issues. FML
Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling his work buddy that he's disappointed in his kid. I assumed he meant my brother, for flunking out of school. He meant me, for quitting sports to focus on my studies. FML
Today, while discussing my grades with my mother, she told me that when she was my age she was dumb but hardworking, and my dad was lazy but very smart. She then added, "You managed to get the worst out of each of us." FML
Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML
Today, my son came running in, saying he had a project due tomorrow. I asked when it was assigned; he said two weeks ago. I refused to help, saying that he failed to act responsibly and had to live with the consequences. Now he's throwing a tantrum and my wife is screaming at me. FML
Today, I got my report card from school. I pulled my grade up in Algebra from a D to an A. My parents told me that they never expected me to accomplish this, and good job but they've already enrolled me in boarding school. So much for all that extra credit and staying late after school to study. FML
Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML
Today, I got a call from my son’s teacher. Apparently, while doing a test, he responded to the question, "Predict how the government will change in the next ten years" with, "I’m not psychic." FML
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Top comments
Akitakat 31
Either way, that’s smart ass speak for... “It’s your fault!”
TCRII 30
Say you are hesitating between military school and military school.
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Comments (9)
Akitakat 31
Either way, that’s smart ass speak for... “It’s your fault!”
TCRII 30
Say you are hesitating between military school and military school.
slapstick1982 22
Hilarious
TxKitten79 10
Lmao. My son would be in serious trouble for the report card. Grounded for the comment. But honestly in private my husband and I would laugh our butts off at the creativity.
RichardPencil 32
Apparently, he didn’t inherit any personal responsibility.
stormy0307 16
We are getting to the point that kids who grew up with no personal responsibility are parents now. So the lack of responsibility will only get worse.
tounces7 28
I mean...is he right?
alycion 39
As someone who would give smart ass replies like that when I got in trouble in class, let me translate. I’m bored with my classes. Whether it just doesn’t interest him or he finds the work easy is another matter.
Jonkbaby 23
smart kid. needs to learn personal responsibility and to do his work