Today, I almost got attacked by a dog. The dog that occupies the same house as I do. The reason? He didn't recognize me because - get this - I was wearing a beanie. A hat made me unrecognizable to my dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman ran up to me and whacked me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML
Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML
Today, I thought I was seeing double. My neighbours got a new dog, which is exactly the same as the other one, except that it hates me twice as much. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
Today, I was walking to my room. My friend's dog, who has always seemed to hate me for no reason, let out the loudest bark he could muster the moment he saw me. Not only did he scare the absolute fuck out of me, he also made me drop my pizza. FML
Today, I entered my neighbors’ yard around a shorter corner than usual. Their old dog is getting a bit slow, but unfortunately only in her head: By the time she recognized me as harmless, she had already run up and bitten me. FML
Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML
Today, I was frantically woken up from a nap by my son who was scared because there was a dog in the house. We don't own a dog. It was the new neighbor's dog. When my son opened the door to go play outside, the dog came barreling in. My kid and cats were terrified. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
Dogs don’t have the best eyesight and may recognize you by certain characteristics, and a beanie may throw those off. Dogs can also be a bit territorial at times, so if this is a problem, maybe try taking the beanie off before your dog sees you and putting it on in his presence. I had the same thing happen as a kid - I got new glasses and my cat hissed at me.
Chazzster 32
Dogs do not have normal human level eyesight. They rely a great deal on a super sensitive nose… One time just after dark I was putting some garbage into the outside bin. Our dog, an Australian Shepherd, happened to be outside and came up and was growling at me. I saw him in the dim light but he didn’t recognize me. I talked to him and slowly held out my hand for him to sniff and he calmed down… Not all creatures experience their senses exactly the same. Dogs have relatively poor eyesight and I am guessing the beanie confused your dog or maybe your clothes had an unusual odor that contributed. I think the best thing to do in such a case is to talk to the dog in a friendly tone of voice and move slowly. Ideally they will recognize your scent.
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Comments (3)
poopface82 25
Dogs don’t have the best eyesight and may recognize you by certain characteristics, and a beanie may throw those off. Dogs can also be a bit territorial at times, so if this is a problem, maybe try taking the beanie off before your dog sees you and putting it on in his presence. I had the same thing happen as a kid - I got new glasses and my cat hissed at me.
Chazzster 32
Dogs do not have normal human level eyesight. They rely a great deal on a super sensitive nose… One time just after dark I was putting some garbage into the outside bin. Our dog, an Australian Shepherd, happened to be outside and came up and was growling at me. I saw him in the dim light but he didn’t recognize me. I talked to him and slowly held out my hand for him to sniff and he calmed down… Not all creatures experience their senses exactly the same. Dogs have relatively poor eyesight and I am guessing the beanie confused your dog or maybe your clothes had an unusual odor that contributed. I think the best thing to do in such a case is to talk to the dog in a friendly tone of voice and move slowly. Ideally they will recognize your scent.
2deployments1divorce 11
Some dog's really hate hats.