Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, as part of his crusade to drive me mad by “helping” in the kitchen, my dad used an entire bottle of expensive olive oil I brought from Greece to make fried bread for his breakfast, and he used the edge of my Japanese chef's knife to loosen a screw, so it now has a giant hairline crack. FML
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Top comments
TMO2142 25
Ezio has all his fingers though
bnbhimp 10
Dum dum dumb
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Comments (95)
c_wyld 21
Let him.
kibster9 20
He needs some help
LeGly 5
That's stupid, they didn't actually cut off Ezio's finger. Your son is going to hurt himself one day, keep an eye on him.
hilamonster06 21
looks like your son got Ezio and Altair mixed up. Altair cut off his finger not Ezio.
interesting33 37
This is very worrying. Not only is he willing to mutilate himself and his friend, he wants to kill people. If he is willing enough to cut off his finger he needs serious help now. I am worried he might hurt people - like at his school or something. Please get him some help OP. And his friend. Taking away a knife won't stop him.
KobeLebroJordan 17
Although cutting off his off his finger obviously isn't s good idea, i don't think he'll become a murderer.
Abatu 4
that was pretty much the premise of the assassin order if he's rrting to emulate them in real life it is a very real possibility it won't stop at self harm he needs to get serious help
AznLuvsMusic 26
If they're old enough to play Assassin's Creed I'm pretty sure they're old enough to know that that is a terrible idea.
klutz44 28
It definitely shouldn't a game for children. However, when I taught 3rd grade I had students who played Assasins Creed. Some of them had been playing it for years.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
3rd graders are playing Assassin's Creed? They must be scholars if they can understand those games, because if the series were a thing when I was in 3rd grade and I somehow got to play it, it would've easily bored me.
sighlifeman 12
discipline that child
IchigoDeathGod 14
Props to you, taking it away.
Zeroace 18
That kid needs to lay off the AC, honestly it ain't for kids...
GrymReefer420 9
the problem ain't the game
NostalgiaFreak9 43
How old is your son?