Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, as part of his crusade to drive me mad by “helping” in the kitchen, my dad used an entire bottle of expensive olive oil I brought from Greece to make fried bread for his breakfast, and he used the edge of my Japanese chef's knife to loosen a screw, so it now has a giant hairline crack. FML
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Top comments
TMO2142 25
Ezio has all his fingers though
bnbhimp 10
Dum dum dumb
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Comments (95)
radiocaf 29
You just learned a valuable lesson in game age ratings OP. Unless your son is like, 26, in which case I totally think FYL.
dellh1295 4
This is why the game is rated M 17+ as in SEVENTEEN PLUS not rated E for everyone or even T for teens. Not for kids 8-14. And yes Ezio does have all of his fingers.
Frid_Kun 7
Natural selection narrowly averted.
SonicSlayer25 6
It was the 13th century assassin's that cut off their left ring finger as a sign of commitment. Altaïr was the only one who was in that time period. Ezio was in the late 15th century and early 16th century.
brick0 11
THEY BURNED THEIR FINGERS THOUGH NOT CUT THEM OFF. HOW DUMB CAN A CHILD BE???
xTommytheGUNx 15
if your kid is young enough to try that he is to young to be playing Assassin's Creed. and Ezio is the only assassin who has his finger....
LPac5295 27
Wow your child is dumb. Altair is the one missing his finger.
BlackbishopTWG 6
it was a test... they did that to Ezio and then stopped him right before he went through with it stating that "modern" technology meant assassins didn't have to do that any more
Dextredlomax02 11
well at least you can use that money you would've spent on college
deamonic 8
if you let him play those games at ages where those thoughts seen logical, then yes FYL for it is your fault