Anonymous
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Put it away
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
ShowOff
United Kingdom
Sliced and diced
Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML
Anonymous
Gammon
Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
breza
Slovenia
Let it bleed
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
just the tip, though
Grovetown, United States
Kitchen Nightmares
Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
insightful
Australia
Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML
Anonymous
Eugene, United States
Today, while showing off the sharpness of my new katana, I missed my target and hit my shoe. The strike cut into the second toe of my right foot, which then had to be amputated. Demonstration successful. FML
Godzilla’s wife
Orange, United States
Fork off
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
cabatt
Today, I'm a chef and I had a new set of knives delivered. My boss says to me, ''Be careful with your new knives, they're going to be sharp. You don't want to cut your nail off.'' Not 2 minutes later I chop my whole nail off my right index. He jinxed me. FML
Top comments
Charlie Given 28
Did it make the lightsaber sound when it's sliced through your finger🤣🤣😂
RichardPencil 32
Looks like you’re not the sharpest tool in the shed, but you did sharpen it!
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Comments (3)
Charlie Given 28
Did it make the lightsaber sound when it's sliced through your finger🤣🤣😂
RichardPencil 32
Looks like you’re not the sharpest tool in the shed, but you did sharpen it!
zuckerburg 21
You know nothing of lightsabers... they cut *OFF* not through. Did you lose your finger? Otherwise GTFO with your moaning. Ain't nobody got time fo dat!