Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, as part of his crusade to drive me mad by “helping” in the kitchen, my dad used an entire bottle of expensive olive oil I brought from Greece to make fried bread for his breakfast, and he used the edge of my Japanese chef's knife to loosen a screw, so it now has a giant hairline crack. FML
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Top comments
TMO2142 25
Ezio has all his fingers though
bnbhimp 10
Dum dum dumb
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Comments (95)
FluffyBrit 6
Hey, at least he's got good taste in protagonists
the_real_dvd 21
Idiot. Garden shears work better.
FlightofAcidFox 18
He never had his finger cut off. He came close to, but he didn't have it cut off. Davinchi fixed that issue. Plus, it isn't what made him an assassin so., yeah. o.o
ShadowFireZelda 6
Tell your kid that he got it all wrong. Da Vinci fixed the assassin's blade so you dont have to do that anymore. Ezio has all of his fingers. It was Altair who cut off a finger.
halfawannabe 14
Foolish Children, they haven't sacrificed fingers to the cause since Altair's time. They need to burn them to be like Ezio.
hank0311 10
Perfection, natural selection in progress! FYI you might want to get ahold of his punk ass and toss the video games before you have a problem on your hands. This is your fault (it is called parenting, not handing video games out to your kids and ignoring them) and if I was the parent of the kid who your kid talked into cutting of his finger. Bet, you would be praying for a thicker front door and bars on your windows, an ass beating would take place.
GrymReefer420 9
video games are actually a great learning tool. this kid is obviously too dumb to understand the difference between reality and games tho. no shooting games for this child
HitmanKillsYou 13
Assassins Creed is a very historical based franchise which can be good for kids depending on the grade they are in and where they are in their Social Studies class. But, you should sit them down and make sure they will not attempt to copy anything from the games. A certain age range is given to games for a reason, some kids are more mature and have more common sense than others so they should be ok with games like that. In short, if your kids are below 15, they should not be playing an M rated game. Even the recommended age is 17.
SecundusSecunda 27
Historical based? Extremely loosely... Unless it incites the kid to research, but considering how OP's son was going to mutilate his hand, I doubt it.
HitmanKillsYou 13
How is it loosely? I learned plenty more from Assassins Creed, than i did from my History class, most of which i learned before my History teacher tried teaching that part of history.
BeenIt 5
You need to be really careful about what you let your son watch from now on. He's too impressionable.
Erksangel 25
So terrible but awesome at the same time!!! Assassin creed Ftw!!!
Solano2580 24
Get him to a counselor