Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML
mtr1594 tells us more.
Hey, it's me, OP. So this isn't the first time he's sleep talked before. Occasionally he'll moan, or like the other night, mutter something about eating Nutella. Anyway. This is the first time it scared the bejesus out of me and the first time he opened his eyes. Usually I ask him about it the next morning and he has no idea and wants to know what he said. This morning it was the same response. When I asked what he was dreaming about, he was dreaming that he was a bad ass drug lord apparently. I think we've been watching too much Weeds, the TV show...
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Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
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Top comments
JoeGrant 12
You should talk to him about it and see how he reacts, if he acts a bit strange I would recommend getting away and running. Immediately.
subwaysurfers 13
Well, thanks for getting back to us. At least we know you're alive :)
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Comments (128)
JoeGrant 12
You should talk to him about it and see how he reacts, if he acts a bit strange I would recommend getting away and running. Immediately.
tfriedrich49 9
Op, your username is a little scared. You should be very scared
emilie_gambii 9
He'd probably deny it to avoid compromising his mission
TheCanucklehead 22
Strangers things have happened in that bed
Ambient25 25
My version of "strange" must be completely different than yours...
andrew6p 19
Sleep with one eye open OP
RoboCunnilingus 23
I don't know about that. I've never done a stranger's thing in my bed. I usually take the time to get to know the young lady.
R5luver 5
I'll bet he wasn't even asleep in the first place and he was trying to mess with you, then rolled over and went back to "sleep".
JE553 9
Some may say its scary others say it's fair warning
lonewolf621 17
Kill him before he kills you.
zed34 18
How sweet he sounds!
Ambient25 25
Now is the perfect time to show your boyfriend to the couch, with a locked door and tacks on the floor...
emilie_gambii 9
I know right? He sounds like a complete teddy bear!
K410 18
Lol when boys talk in their sleep
mn_shr 22
Super sexy pillow talk
Han1156 23
It's Legos they hurt a lot more
paleriderdeath 8
but be her luck she would forget about the tacks and step on them to get to the bathroom haha
SS99_fml 20
He sounds like he'd be a great CIA agent :)
cottoncandymango 17
He's gonna kill you..... With his obnoxious snoring.
onaa3r 10
Gives sleeper cell a whole new meaning
Gothicbunnyx3 16
I wouldn't worry too much OP, my grandma does the same thing.
PoisonedLiquor 17
Talking about Grandma, you haven't seen your Grandpa in a while...
Gothicbunnyx3 16
Yea maybe because he died of leukemia.
1lowscort 8
Or so she says....
False_Stupidity 42
You sleep with your grandma?
tragicnightmare 15
#89 maybe 'visiting' grandma. (if you've ever heard the term before)
Gothicbunnyx3 16
No #89 she screams from her bedroom when we visit, so it's not to difficult to hear.
Obey_StudBoii 23
This reminds me of an episode from American Dad.
Gothicbunnyx3 16
What episode has Stan not pulled out his gun or threatened to kill someone in the family?
Obey_StudBoii 23
Ha. All the episodes he's done that. Hilarious show
Daiyuki 5
Convincing fake snores maybe. Sounds like a prank, but weird shit can happen in someone's sleep...
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
My boyfriend says silly things in his sleep sometimes. I find it adorable, but if he said something like that, I'd be terrified!
VpLus2 9
He must've had an awesome dream!
TheDrifter 24
Whisper nonsense in his ear in a Russian accent, then stand back and watch the results.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
OP's boyfriend is obviously a Russian sleeper agent. I bet OP has freezing cold feet like almost every girl I've slept with, and the feel of them kick started his KGB mind in action. Damn it, now I just scared myself..
Axipiter 24
Gosh, that Italian family at the next table sure is quiet.
tfriedrich49 9
Be afraid. Be very afraid
PapaMoti 21
Is your father going to shoot him?
killer6969 16
I see what you did there ;)