female
Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
u raised him
In on it
Today, my 17-year-old son attempted to rob the bank I work at while I was off shift. FML
badmom
Ireland
Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML
No justice anywhere
Stand your ground
Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML
Anon
Denton, United States
Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML
emmalou
Little shit
Today, my son tried extort me into turning the WiFi back on by hiding my purse. He was mad because he'd lost access for being disrespectful. FML
irony, huh?
Alexa, play "Ironic" by Alanis Morrissette
Today, I got mugged. For an actual mug. FML
sorrystupid
United States
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Anonymous
I can't deal with confrontation
Today, my son is so pathetic that when a tiny, unarmed 5-foot tall female thief robbed our store, he didn’t grab the baseball bat, he didn’t slam the anti-theft door on the counter closed, he didn’t even press the big alarm button, he just started crying, put his hands up, and let her empty the till. FML
Bob H.
Québec, Canada
Mad lad
Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML
Anonymous
Statham, United States
Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML
Top comments
MrCT 22
Now was this in you kitchen or an alley it makes a difference, in an alley your son needs to be in jail in your kitchen you self righteous entitled piece of shit of a son need his ass beat and tossed on the streets.
ajh1800 25
I sincerely hope you smacked him upside the head to knock some damn sense into him...
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Comments (17)
ajh1800 25
I sincerely hope you smacked him upside the head to knock some damn sense into him...
BeachMammal 8
Violence begets violence.
Glowworm56 27
Sounds to me like he was trying to screw you over!
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Drive him out of your house and tell him he's on his own from there.
TxKitten79 10
And did you call the cops? If not, he'll probably do it again. Good luck, OP. Stay safe, even if it is family.
alycion 39
Especially with family.
TxKitten79 10
Yep! There is a drug addict in my family, and one in my husband's. And we have 5 children between us. We don't put up with that nonsense, and those two know it.
MrCT 22
Now was this in you kitchen or an alley it makes a difference, in an alley your son needs to be in jail in your kitchen you self righteous entitled piece of shit of a son need his ass beat and tossed on the streets.
Chris Smith_1291676952 8
Firstly, it sounds like it would be a joke or prank. If not, sounds like it's time for your 19 year old son to move out.
Matt Much 12
Sounds like someone needs to have one of the talks. Bernie Goetz is real, your son needs to quit that crap pronto.
PenguinPal3017 19
Did he actually attempt to mug you, or was it a joke? If it was serious I assume that he has a drug problem. If it was a joke then who cares?
BurnInDemonFire 39
Damn. Your kid is methed up. Set him straight by hitting him upside the head until it knocks some sense into him.
Madrias 36
"Congratulations, you just screwed yourself. Pack your shit and leave. I don't care where you go, but you get out of here."