Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I reached a limit I wasn’t aware I had when I had to tell my husband we’re not having shower sex anymore because he’s gotten so big since he retired, we don’t both comfortably fit in there anymore. FML
Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML
Today, after many comments over years about her needing to lose weight, I had to tell the woman I love, the woman I married, that she had gotten so overweight that the sight of her naked made me want to puke. Apparently her goal was to get so fat I'd stop asking for sex. I'm her third divorce. FML
Today, three weeks after a traumatic emergency cesarean section, my husband keeps sulking because sex is the literal last thing I want right now. The fact that my body is still sore and healing is apparently irrelevant when he is horny. FML
Today, my wife, who NEVER wants to have sex, decided that now is the time. I, of course, had to take antibiotics that make me so bloated I can’t move without extreme pain. FML
Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML
Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML
Today, after my body has been ravaged, scarred, broken, and mutilated by cancer, my husband says it’s only fair for him to have a side piece, since the treatments to save my life have decimated my sex drive. But don’t worry, it’s just for his physical needs. He won’t “fall in love or anything.” FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
Today, I ended up in an awkward position during sex and dislocated my knee. My wife accused me of doing it on purpose to criticize her for being too fat and heavy for sex. FML
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Top comments
ByronJess 17
You do realize that the "back one" is tighter than the front one is? Your logic fails.
Wiebeski19 5
Just tell him to not go so far deep, if his lung. If he's wide well than your ****** lol
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Comments (201)
hateevryone 15
Just give up your sex life, or maybe you can just stick to oral.
Dracoboxer357 36
110- I completely disagree with giving up on her sex life. Why should she settle for being dissatisfied forever? I don't believe there isn't a solution to her dilemma. :p
blackblade 3
That really sux for u I am truly sorry but try like a paper towel roll in it to keep more out then in but what girl would want to do that
weeabaka 6
WAIT, WHAT?! What in God's name are you trying to suggest, you sick bastard?!
RedPillSucks 33
Then the trip to the hospital to remove the paper towel roll that's been rammed inter the cervix will be a great conversation starter. I can see the X-Ray showing up on DocBastards profile.
Brookethebear 0
I can't even imagine...
benmec 18
How selfish of you. Haven't you heard of the vaginal dilator????!!!
Ameel_fml 19
You'd be surprised. Most girls I know actually prefer men with average sized penises, because the larger ones can definitely hurt or tear. One of my housemates recently had to break up with her boyfriend because he was too big AND long for her, and always left her bleeding and it hurt her to pee for a couple of days later (sorry for the TMI). People would give him compliments on his big dick, but he hated it because so many women had broken up with him because he hurt them.
itsme1321 3
People would compliment him on his big penis...? :/ So strangers walking down the street would just be like, "Hey! It's giant **** dude! Nice penis" *high five*...? For real?
Ameel_fml 19
Nah, I think it was mostly his friends and team mates. Don't know if they had compared penises in the past or if they had seen it in the showers, but for some reason he was pretty well known as the guy with the big dick.
itsme1321 3
So other dudes in his social circle casually complimented his penis on a regular basis...? Congratulations, the story just became even less believable *slow clap*
Tonyduncan 0
we have the same problem. lots of oral and toys
supportcommand 17
I love your picture. No starving kids over there huh!
305Miami 0
Well, Looks like you guys are gonna have to pleasure each other differently.
mellagiselle23 4
Didn't you sample the product before you bought it?
jarockstar27 10
Penis reduction? Is that available now? Why not we have breast reduction! But seriously OP That sucks!
UndreamtKarma 6
There is such thing as a breast reduction now a days. We have had one for awhile
Papiamilli 1
I would suggest the use of toys on a regular basis. And just like gauging your ears, you must move up in diameter in small increments until the diameter of the toy or ***** is the same as your husbands. Or you can **** females that can change the size of their ***** when ever they want :)