Today, I reached a limit I wasn’t aware I had when I had to tell my husband we’re not having shower sex anymore because he’s gotten so big since he retired, we don’t both comfortably fit in there anymore. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML
Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML
Today, I realized that I’m old, and that it’s been too long since I had sex or even masturbated. How did I notice? Because I tried to, and I found out I couldn’t comfortably spread my legs that far anymore. FML
Today, I told my husband that I thought we were old enough to not need sex anymore. His immediate response was, "In that case, I'm not too old to be single." FML
Today, after years of my husband letting himself go and our sex life dying a slow, painful death, he's finally gotten my hints and started exercising and eating right, and he looks amazing. But now he has no sex drive and says, "I'm getting older, there are more important things to me than busting nuts all day!" FML
Today, after 5 years of marriage, my once-gym-mad husband is now so unfit that even standard missionary sex makes him so breathless and light headed, he has to stop in case he passes out. He hasn’t given me an orgasm in over a year and yet he insists nothing's wrong with him, and that I’m just being mean. FML
Today, me and my husband have been trying to get pregnant for so long that we have gone from, “Yay, sex everyday!” to “Damn, the schedule says we need to have sex again.” We don’t even really undress anymore, we just move clothes aside so the appropriate body parts are exposed. FML
Today, I’m now so unfit, I had to stop halfway through sex with my wife to catch my breath, and in the end we just gave up, as clearly neither of us was having an orgasm today. I don’t get it, I weigh exactly 11 stone and exercise regularly, but I have no stamina and shit lungs. I hate myself. FML
Today, my husband called me into the bathroom to wipe his ass, as he's become too fat to do it himself. I don't know what's sadder, the fact that I did it or the fact that I miss when he was at least ashamed to ask. FML
Today, after spending five months helping my husband lose a ton, he left me. Apparently, "fit people" should only have sex with "fit people". FML
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Top comments
tiptoppc 21
My wife is small (5’4”, 125lbs) and I’m not the largest (5’8”, 190lbs) but to me, even most walk in showers still feel small. I don’t think many showers out there were designed to accommodate two people anyways. It’s also quite dangerous when you factor in glass, and blunt objects sticking out that a wrong move or slip can end up causing permanent injury. Water also isn’t a lubricant.
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Comments (1)
tiptoppc 21
My wife is small (5’4”, 125lbs) and I’m not the largest (5’8”, 190lbs) but to me, even most walk in showers still feel small. I don’t think many showers out there were designed to accommodate two people anyways. It’s also quite dangerous when you factor in glass, and blunt objects sticking out that a wrong move or slip can end up causing permanent injury. Water also isn’t a lubricant.