Today, my wife, who NEVER wants to have sex, decided that now is the time. I, of course, had to take antibiotics that make me so bloated I can’t move without extreme pain. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I just had surgery and my wife finally wants to have sex. Not that there haven't been enough other days in the previous years of marriage… FML
Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me to "just stick it up her ass already." No, not for anal sex, it was a suppository she got from the doctor. This is the closest I’ve been to sex in two years, since she decided we were done having sex and won’t even explain why when I ask. We’re only in our 30s. FML
Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML
Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML
Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML
Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that would kill my sex drive, just so she wouldn't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML
Today, a few hours after me and my husband had sex, he mumbled, "This is why I hate sex," as he left to grab some Tylenol. Apparently, he's so out of shape that basic sex made his muscles too sore to sleep. This is the first time in two weeks we've had sex. I'm always the one that has to ask for it. FML
Today, my wife always told me she loved sex too much to ever give it up. I don’t know what’s happened recently but she’s now angry for no reason, bitter at the world, makes me suffer just for existing, and yes, she’s cancelled all intimacy and sex for the foreseeable future. FML
Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML
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Top comments
ahabsfan 17
NEVER wants to have sex or NEVER wants to have sex with YOU?
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
classic case of Murphy's law
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Comments (6)
ahabsfan 17
NEVER wants to have sex or NEVER wants to have sex with YOU?
DogStew 20
She must find the bloated-ness sexy.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
classic case of Murphy's law
Jennifer Cunningham 4
coincidence? I think not!
xxWTFxx1981 23
She didn't want sex she just realized she could get points without having to perform. check and mate