Today, three weeks after a traumatic emergency cesarean section, my husband keeps sulking because sex is the literal last thing I want right now. The fact that my body is still sore and healing is apparently irrelevant when he is horny. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband wants to leave me because I’m “taking too long” to recover from my C-section and he’s “tired of jerking off.” His logic is that he recovered in 6 weeks after he got 12 stitches on his leg, and, “I’ll be fine.” FML
Today, I just had surgery and my wife finally wants to have sex. Not that there haven't been enough other days in the previous years of marriage… FML
Today, my husband spent our entire anniversary sulking because I wasn't up for sex. I gave birth to our first child less than two weeks ago. FML
Today, a few hours after me and my husband had sex, he mumbled, "This is why I hate sex," as he left to grab some Tylenol. Apparently, he's so out of shape that basic sex made his muscles too sore to sleep. This is the first time in two weeks we've had sex. I'm always the one that has to ask for it. FML
Today, after giving birth, my wife was put on the sex ban until she heals. The thing is she has a high sex drive and is now horny, cranky, while also post surgery and also breastfeeding. I try to sexually satisfy her in other ways, but she's a nightmare to be with until we can have full sex again. FML
Today, I had surgery on my "girl parts" and can't have sex for six weeks. My boyfriend sees no need to spend any time with me until I heal up. FML
Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML
Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML
Today, my husband threw an epic temper tantrum because I wouldn’t have sex with him. I recently suffered from a miscarriage and the thought of anything going on down there makes me uncomfortable. He eventually calmed down and said, "Fine, just don’t be surprised if I end up cheating." FML
Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Charlie Given 28
WOW sounds like you married a man child ,time to tell him to grow up and go jerk one off or get the **** out cuz that's just bullshit behavior.
Abram Thau 2
Well, as soon as you've healed up and you're feeling up for some physical activity, you can kick his ass out and get on with raising your brand new baby. Congrats on the kid! Future congrats on ditching the obnoxious sperm donor!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (7)
Charlie Given 28
WOW sounds like you married a man child ,time to tell him to grow up and go jerk one off or get the **** out cuz that's just bullshit behavior.
Abram Thau 2
Well, as soon as you've healed up and you're feeling up for some physical activity, you can kick his ass out and get on with raising your brand new baby. Congrats on the kid! Future congrats on ditching the obnoxious sperm donor!
RichardPencil 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I take it your mouth and hands weren't sliced open to remove a baby. You have options.
Hangryko 32
Not everyone realizes you're being sarcastic, Richard.
bleachedraven 14
Part ways with the selfish jerk if sex is all he can think of.
phybreawptic 13
Really disappointing that everyone's solution, to what is ultimately not a very huge deal, is LEAVE HIM! Just quit. Like that's going to make things a lot better suddenly. She's venting right now and it's quite possible that this guy is very immature. But she's the one who chose to create a little human with him.
Yummi_913 18
A traumatic emergency C-section is a huge deal though. But his penis is more important to him. What's the point of a marriage when you go through something that serious and the person still couldn't give a flying ****, and only wants to pork you while you're in literal pain? If you can't comprehend why that's completely screwed up, you've got serious issues. That's not a loving marriage and it makes complete sense to ditch it.
GalaxyGirl1123_fml 14
Her husband cares more about his want for sex than her basic needs. Worse than that, he's harassing her and manipulating her about it. That's emotional and sexual abuse. She is not safe with him.
idragosani 17
3 weeks??! Even if it was a perfectly fine vaginal birth, you are supposed to wait at least 6 weeks before doing the deed again. He needs to get reacquainted with his hands, I think