Today, my coworker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworker told me that I needed to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML
Today, I went to the dentist and she told me, "If you don't stop smoking, yellow teeth aren't the only thing you'll have to worry about." I don't even smoke. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML
Today, my manager took me aside and angrily told me to quit fucking about with our customers. He totally refuses to believe that the slight whistling sound I keep making when I exhale is because I have a chipped tooth. FML
Today, I found out the reason my co-workers have been giving me gum every day is not because of their generosity, but because everyone in the office thinks my breath smells. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML
Today, my officemate used the telephone beside my desk again. I still can't think of a better way to tell him how awful bad his breath is without the having to do it personally. We've been workmates for a year now and he still hasn't gotten a clue, despite of me covering my nose every time. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
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Top comments
GemmaStyles 14
Maybe you should take that as a sign to start brushing your teeth, hm.
babybebop2 4
That was very rude of him to say your breath smells like shit...but maybe YDI for having poor oral hygiene....too bad a friend could alert you to that nicely.
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Comments (138)
GemmaStyles 14
Maybe you should take that as a sign to start brushing your teeth, hm.
videophone 0
Not going to lie... That's kinda gross and maybe that's I sign to fix that issue and really ******* soon (y)
lalapear 3
Time to break out the toothbrush
Jamialia 5
Breath mint?
Sanch101 7
Dental hygiene is important. Get some floss as well.
astoryofroses 9
I'd rather have a coworker saying it than a dentist... *shudder* but hey, Listerine always helps!
SaturnV 25
70 - I think I'd rather have the dentist saying it. If it came from the dentist, it would (probably) be phrased a lot more tactfully and could be stated as a matter of preventative health. When it comes from a coworker, it means it's already bad enough that it's bothering others in a social capacity who are less sensitive to dental issues than dentists.
UpAllNight_862 6
OMG. Sorry to bother, but are you Harry's sister.....
MDTeddy 13
I am glad Op cleared it up by saying this to the co-worker.
blackvyper 8
Carry a pack of cigarettes to throw him off the real reason you have nasty breath and yellow teeth.
uJelly24 1
Maybe op doesn't have bad breath,and his co-worker is just a dick?
SaturnV 25
Or OP could just take some initiative where oral hygiene is concerned instead of trying to perpetuate fake excuses...
chowE_fml 4
If OPs oral hygiene is that bad I can't imagine what is ass and pits are like. GAH-ROSS!!
folfg0 12
^why would you imagine that???
zaynismylove 2
u should tell her to **** off
Pandacupcakelove 26
Yeah, tell people to **** off if they're being a bit rude, that will get you a lot of friends.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
You don't know the gender of the OP nor the boss. But telling people to "**** off" may get you fired. Or at least punished.
musicluvr2000 11
55- yup, it will get OP to "**** off"
ebonyirony 29
It's still not the coworkers business, unless OP constantly works close enough to breathe on them.
Soloman212 28
Well you have a lot less to lose, so you might as well start smoking now.
goose12321 11
That would be a stupid idea.
acidkitten 14
There's still the problem of lung cancer and all that...I think OP would gain more from seeing a dentist and buying some breath mints.
FMLKitten 15
Because the only thing OP would have to lose would be the most important thing. His life.
coughyochick 7
I don't know anybody that has died from smoking....
Soloman212 28
It's a joke... I know the risks of smoking and can't stand it myself. I actually got my grandpa to quit through my constant bitching.
sens3sfailing 25
Really!? GUYS! Coughyochick doesn't know anyone who has died from cancer! The scientist only lied to us! It's all a conspiracy! Smoking is safe! It must be! If coughyochick doesn't know anybody who has died from it, all those studies were just lies or coincidence! -.- yeah right. Coughyouchick. If you don't know anyone who has died from cancer, you probably will soon enough. And correct me if I am wrong but I am getting a feeling that you smoke and are trying to justify it by making it seem like its really not that bad? Smoking kills in more ways than just lung cancer. Just because it doesn't immediately seem like smoking played a role because it didn't cause the disease that caused death, it still had a hand in the killing. Smoking weakens your immune system and can cause people to die from diseases they would have otherwise survived. Smoking has no justification. Get help, not only for yourself, but the ones who love you who can't stand to see you killing yourself anymore.
angeluv_2014 22
Are you ******* retarted 75?? That's like saying " Who's ever heard if dying from inhaling poison everyday for years?! That's ludicris!" Did you never take health class? Do you know nothing of cigarettes? Shit! Read the box!
babybebop2 4
That was very rude of him to say your breath smells like shit...but maybe YDI for having poor oral hygiene....too bad a friend could alert you to that nicely.
zaynismylove 2
the co worker might be a girl
CustardAndPie 13
#5, it's not always a person's fault they have poor oral hygeine. Perhaps OP's parents taught her/him to only brush once a day, or perhaps his/her dentist never offers maintenance advice. While OP should definitely take this as a tip that he/she needs to take better care of his/her teeth, I wouldn't necessarily say he/she deserves it.
tweetbaby14 18
61, for my 18 years of life I have only brushed once a day and my teeth are very white.
CadillacPimpen 6
5, You could use some tooth whitener yourself.
chowE_fml 4
If you wake up and look in the mirror every morning you know damn well when your choppers are yellow. An excellent way of checking is the eyeball to teeth ratio. Compare the two colors and you'll always be guided in the right direction. As far as the breath goes OP knows damn well when their breath is on karate chop. Lol I mean you can taste it when your breath is wretched. You need to do better OP. keeping you in my prayers
MyaaBayyBee 6
Brush your teeth .. Keep some breath strips in your pockets , you'll be good .
Kangarooster 4
Oh God, I'd be mortified. :/ Incentive to take better care of your teeth?
byRose 7
Don't worry about it man, don't listen to him! He doesn't know what he's talking about. People without personal hygiene are the best! (sarcasm)
angeluv_2014 22
I know you may have -22 on your comment, but that's just because people are fucktards and either didn't read the (sarcasm) or for some stupid ass reason they feel bad for this nasty freak who doesn't brush his teeth and then bitches when they tell him how society would react to his strange problem. In short: your comment was awesome.
videophone 0
Um you do realize she is a GIRL! LOL
Pandacupcakelove 26
Brush your teeth, floss, see a dentist..
dashizam 10
I love your profile pic!
Pandacupcakelove 26
Me too! :3
Pridekills 6
ive been brushing my teeth twice a day for as long as i can remember. :/
Pandacupcakelove 26
Your teeth don't look yellow on your picture..
thatpeachyperson 12
Maybe he was just being an asshole?
nativegirl13 3
Maybe a dentist check up wouldn't hurt?
Senseless_487 29
Do you drink a lot of coffee? That'll stain your teeth. And if you don't already, I would start using mouthwash in the morning and at night.
xMiss_Maggot 7
you should try baking soda tooth paste. i brush my teeth twice a day but still have some yellow teeth but after using that pste it made my teeth whiter! it actually works. you should try it OP
ramakandra 3
but how well do you brush them? could you say you covered every (proverbial) inch of teeth? i brush twice a day too, but i occasionally miss spots, making them sensitive.
Ameel_fml 19
I agree with #18. I'm a big coffee drinker, so my breath isn't always great. Carrying around mint chewing gum (the sugar-free ones) and using mouthwash after you brush makes a big difference to the smell of my breath and even gets rid of that 'fuzzy' feeling teeth sometimes get when you've just eaten. Also brushing your tongue and flossing is very important, and I know a lot of people who don't do it. Brushing only gets rid of so much, but if you don't floss the build-up of food between your teeth and can either give off a rotten smell or give you gum disease (which also smells bad).
DocBastard 40
Mints only cover up the odor. Chewing gum helps more to keep your mouth moist and helps stop bacteria from growing. Go online and search for a product called "Smart Mouth". It works wonders and lasts for half a day.
perdix 31
Well, you've got nice ****, so no guys are really looking at your teeth. Is your co-worker flat-chested? That would explain it.
AussieChild 22
Yellow teeth don't necessarily mean poor hygiene. I have yellow teeth and I brush my teeth twice a day, don't smoke, or drink coffee... Some people are just born it.
perdix 31
#51, Doc, that's a real product! I thought you were joking. My mom used to call me "smart mouth" when I was being a little bastard. The only ingredient that sets it apart from ordinary products is a tiny bit of zinc chloride (which is not an exotic, expensive material.) I wonder why it is so expensive?
Calyx_fml 22
Maybe you should stop eating shit then.
DocBastard 40
Perdix - Yup, it's real. The reason it's so much more expensive (I guess) is because it works, as opposed to every other mouthwash I've ever tried. It's worth its weight in gold.
kittytub 12
I have tried using teeth whitening toothpaste, but it doesn't seem to work. my teeth are yellow because I drink lots of tea. >.