Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Cramped my style
Today, I reached a limit I wasn’t aware I had when I had to tell my husband we’re not having shower sex anymore because he’s gotten so big since he retired, we don’t both comfortably fit in there anymore. FML
Chubby Love, by Bon Iver
Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML
Turn off
Today, after many comments over years about her needing to lose weight, I had to tell the woman I love, the woman I married, that she had gotten so overweight that the sight of her naked made me want to puke. Apparently her goal was to get so fat I'd stop asking for sex. I'm her third divorce. FML
My husband the shitgibbon
Today, three weeks after a traumatic emergency cesarean section, my husband keeps sulking because sex is the literal last thing I want right now. The fact that my body is still sore and healing is apparently irrelevant when he is horny. FML
Feelin' sexy
Today, my wife, who NEVER wants to have sex, decided that now is the time. I, of course, had to take antibiotics that make me so bloated I can’t move without extreme pain. FML
Unreasonable
Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML
Ouchie
Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML
Asshat
Today, after my body has been ravaged, scarred, broken, and mutilated by cancer, my husband says it’s only fair for him to have a side piece, since the treatments to save my life have decimated my sex drive. But don’t worry, it’s just for his physical needs. He won’t “fall in love or anything.” FML
Bad sex
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
Today, I ended up in an awkward position during sex and dislocated my knee. My wife accused me of doing it on purpose to criticize her for being too fat and heavy for sex. FML
Top comments
ByronJess 17
You do realize that the "back one" is tighter than the front one is? Your logic fails.
Wiebeski19 5
Just tell him to not go so far deep, if his lung. If he's wide well than your ****** lol
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Comments (201)
Steffi 26
Do you have a problem getting wet? If a baby can fit, your husband can fit!
goose12321 11
How big is too big? Like what, 10 inches?
Crazberry 5
13 inches... Those exist and they're terrifying.
Dracoboxer357 36
94- Guiness world record penis was 34 cm erect (think about 13.4"), 23 cm flaccid. Exist? Sure. Common? Not in my experience.
pcentral 17
My suggestion would be toys. I know it's not the real thing, but it beats not having any sex life at all!
DecembersShadow 2
Tell him to get a reduction, otherwise you won't be able to have sex
supportcommand 17
Lots of lube. And don't get all rammy right away. Same goes for the back door. Just make sure The Brownstones aren't home when your hubby goes knocking.
that1guy616 4
have sex more = you will stretch out and things may be ok. now if you have to go on to someone smaller......
AaronGuy 12
Is his penis wider than a babies' head?
turtlechef 2
I have that problem haha jk
magicallouis 2
Well I think you should break up with him sometimes, things are just too big to fix and they just tare apart.
supportcommand 17
The grammar nazis are going to *tear you apart.
GERM1389 0
Try Anal then, if your ****** can't take it, i'm sure your ass will.
raraisbang 12
For one, not everybody wants something ramrodding them in the ass, and for two... Just no. Anal hurts, and tbh the one time I tried it (yes, with previous foreplay, I'm not dumb enough to get straight to it) it tore. From experience, I'd much rather my ****** tear than my asshole, and it didn't feel good at all. Plus, it's like a giant plunger. If you didn't have to crap before, you will after. I'm telling you, shit will get real! :D
ColbyM88 5
Ill take over for you. :)
petraphotoDOTca 6
you handle big thick dicks well? good to know. OP, we can just sneak this guy in instead of you - he'll take over. lmao