Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Cramped my style
Today, I reached a limit I wasn’t aware I had when I had to tell my husband we’re not having shower sex anymore because he’s gotten so big since he retired, we don’t both comfortably fit in there anymore. FML
Chubby Love, by Bon Iver
Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML
Turn off
Today, after many comments over years about her needing to lose weight, I had to tell the woman I love, the woman I married, that she had gotten so overweight that the sight of her naked made me want to puke. Apparently her goal was to get so fat I'd stop asking for sex. I'm her third divorce. FML
My husband the shitgibbon
Today, three weeks after a traumatic emergency cesarean section, my husband keeps sulking because sex is the literal last thing I want right now. The fact that my body is still sore and healing is apparently irrelevant when he is horny. FML
Feelin' sexy
Today, my wife, who NEVER wants to have sex, decided that now is the time. I, of course, had to take antibiotics that make me so bloated I can’t move without extreme pain. FML
Unreasonable
Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML
Ouchie
Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML
Asshat
Today, after my body has been ravaged, scarred, broken, and mutilated by cancer, my husband says it’s only fair for him to have a side piece, since the treatments to save my life have decimated my sex drive. But don’t worry, it’s just for his physical needs. He won’t “fall in love or anything.” FML
Bad sex
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
Today, I ended up in an awkward position during sex and dislocated my knee. My wife accused me of doing it on purpose to criticize her for being too fat and heavy for sex. FML
Top comments
ByronJess 17
You do realize that the "back one" is tighter than the front one is? Your logic fails.
Wiebeski19 5
Just tell him to not go so far deep, if his lung. If he's wide well than your ****** lol
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Comments (201)
iamyourmum 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
When the front rear doesn't work, try the back one ;)
Cian_1 28
I personally don't see why people do anal. I mean, when you think about it, its revolting! You're shoving your penis somewhere where there will be particles (or more) of shit, who in there right mind wants that on their penis. :P
ByronJess 17
You do realize that the "back one" is tighter than the front one is? Your logic fails.
onlychildFTW 34
For anal you should wear protection still.
Dunvanation 4
Yeah 23 you could get someone pregnant! jk I know stds...
SneakyCaveman 13
34, And shit...
Firuzzy 10
17 It's not too different to vaginal, blood comes out of there every month....
ATSViper 15
Really 39, I would like to know who you've been seeing.
Feverrotes 15
Well, typically, a BJ after an anal session is like a routine. Guy shoves it in the ass, particles come attached, gal sucks them off.
JackeeDawn 9
Aw, that's ******* sick.
FMLKitten 15
That's funny... Us cats do it differently!
vcapelo 19
Actually the back one is not tighter 18. The ringmuscle has the ability to strecht and I know from personal experience that anal can be much more loose than vaginal if you just do it right. I'm not saying they have to do anal but I think it's a posibility. Also if you have watched ****, you would know If you train hard, it's posible to shove the largest and weirdest stuff up there (not that **** is real life, but it's just a thought).
supportcommand 17
Ya ! The rusty nail !
CzechIsBack 15
89 - while the anal sphincters can stretch enough to allow even for a hand to be inserted, as it can during rectal surgery or some more "involved" sexual practices, the ****** can stretch enough to allow for childbirth and is far more accommodating than the anus. The OP should try much more foreplay and slow stretching and it'll fit. Hate to say it guys, no man is so big that it doesn't fit ;)
awkwarddebater 12
Am I the only one who immediately thought of oral, not anal, sex?
Turtle_rebellion 10
Anal is sick. I'd prefer not to have feces on any part of my body, thank you
GothInside 6
If he's too big for comfort in the bag what makes you think she'd want him anywhere near her back door? You make no sense at all!
Dylan94_fml 8
And how long does it take during birth before the woman gets dilated enough for a baby to be able to fit through it? Anal is the most sensible option if both OP and her husband are comfortable with it, when I first read it I thought OP meant length not width, in which case anal would definitely be the preferred option to reduce injury. Obviously wear protection and all that blah blah
AndriaLeeB 5
It's the dilation of the cervix, not the ******. The penis does NOT go into the cervix.
UsernameHere234 13
The penis can reach the cervix if large enough. And it actually only takes about 10 min I think for the cervix to dilate fully but regardless it doesn't matter what the cervix does because you will never get the cervix to dilate during sex. It requires hormones given off during labour.
Calyx_fml 22
My friend has the same problem with his girlfriend. I had the opposite problem with a former girlfriend. She was too cavernous for me to feel anything. In both cases anal was the solution. Use a female condom! It's a lot cleaner. Make sure you poop before sex, do lots of foreplay with fingers and thumbs to loosen you up. He can thumb you while going down on you. Use lube and clean up immediately afterwards. Also, it's best if you lie on your back or side. If its doggie style then Santorum can drip out onto your ******. This is less of a problem if you use female condoms though. With the right practice anal feels as good as vaginal (so women I've done it with tell me)
AndriaLeeB 5
Oh yeah, it definitely can reach it obviously, but as you said, it would never go in. And I don't know where you got 10 minutes from, I've never heard if a 10 minute labor, though I'm sure women would appreciate that.
HollyDolly660 8
As a female, I can honestly say I would never want anything in or around my bum. OP, you just gotta start stretching yourself more. If the skanks at my school can get a fist up there, you can get a penis up there too.
doctorhook86 25
62: You've been watching too much ****, bro. Lots of girls like it up the ass, but good luck finding one who wants it in their mouth afterwards.
Lludes 5
206- you obviously have never had children it takes many hours for the cervix to dilate to 10cm. Unless of course you've had previous children it may take less time, but never 10 minutes.
reeselover99 7
Your not alone that's what I thought too
Stormdriven37 6
Did anyone else notice he put "front rear," or am I just that much of a grammar nazi?
Veunz 4
I laughed so hard when I saw you used "Santorum" that way >M<
devandanae 11
It does not take several hours to dilate to ten centimeters. Every pregnancy is different.
djdailey 6
It's already inside you
lilemmy55 10
Its an exit, not an entrance.
ParkBenchWreck 3
They stretch XD
bobak_can_ani 7
And discharges, every day
Nutz101 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Who would have thought you could be too big?
onlychildFTW 34
Oh yeah you can be to big. It can only stretch so much. And some guys are pretty big. The anus can stretch a lot more though. As long as you start slow and use some from of lube of course. So you can always try that. But if that isn't your thing stay away from getting infections. That stuffs nasty OP and it could be in your best interests to not have them. I really hope you can figure out something OP!
elflautoenpants 5
Amen.
zaynismylove 2
the username is appropriate for this FML
downtime 13
Who wouldn't have thought you could be too big? Pretty obvious. I kind of want to say YDI because it sounds like prior to this you were part of the "bigger is better" fanclub. As to the guy suggesting anal, there are a series of bigger complications than "will it fit" that come with shoving oversized objects in your ass...
emilyjgraham 34
I'm just wondering which way is he too big? girth or length? because the length can be solved by him not going in full and the girth (they've probably tried this) you could possibly try going up through toys slowly and eventually match his girth, yes it takes a long time but maybe the ****** will naturally stretch to accommodate his size. maybe not, I'm just giving some ideas :)
DjeePee 25
Wasn't the longest penis in the world around 40 centimeters? Anyway, you can put a lot of things in a ******, but it's not an endless hole. OP, here's my tip: search on the interwebs after different sexual positions. There are positions that are perfect for a small guy, positions that are ideal for an average guy and also positions for holy-shit-your-big guys. Also, you don't need to put his entire penis inside you.
Cookiedough1987 4
The anus can stretch more than the ******? And where the hell do you think babies come out of?!
Justy101 23
9 - Some babies are pretty big too.
TheDrifter 24
Even a moderate length penis is a no go for a lot of women if it's too thick. From experience, average length, with the girth of a beer can WILL get you refused by some women the moment they see it.
ChefPhilly 13
Your picture scares me, 165...
gumbo1 8
Try lube
ButteredRetoast 4
Why do you know so much about that stuff? -_-
br0ccoli 15
165 - Someone's advertising.
keilah 4
Most women.
doctorhook86 25
165: Yes bro, I'm sure you've got a dick as thick as a beer can. And here I thought my redbull-sized **** was fat!
sens3sfailing 25
I thought there was a too big. I am too big for my girlfriend. It can also be seen as she is too small because she is a virgin and is tight and doesn't masturbait at all so getting it bigger will be a long time. I am not anything extraordinary though, I am longer than average by a decent amount, but it isn't like I am some sort of sex god. I am a virgin too and wish my penis was smaller so I could make love to my girlfriend. I don't care about the size if it means that I am able to show the one I care the most about that part of how much I love her.
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
Start with fingers, then work up to you going on. She has to be sufficiently wet to fit, but you will fit. It's going to hurt her at first, but the second time it won't.
SausageWaffles 4
The girth of a beer can holy shit thats big
LemonandLime 13
9, tell me something. Where do babies come from? Now think about which is more stretchy.
SeahorseGuy 7
165-Are you married? You might should check if the OP is your wife.....
tinyj96 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
His dick has to literally bigger than a baby for this...
Bloobloke 12
That was the gayest thing I've ever read on here. Here's a secret since you said you guys are both virgins: lube and foreplay. Enjoy it.
StephenLovesYou 3
Your picture scares me!
pockleboy 7
Or she is really small
michellenKG 5
Thats.....unfortunate
i_wuz_nver_here 31
I think this is one of the situations when you really can't say 'doesn't matter, had sex'
annagilbert 6
And this is why people should have sex before they're married.
love2killu 21
They are married...
Wiebeski19 5
Just tell him to not go so far deep, if his lung. If he's wide well than your ****** lol
brackaman 18
More like you're NOT ******.
westcoastkp 13
this is what happens when you wait til you're married to have sex. FYL :(
NothernNightmare 18
Exactly 210, before you buy the car you gotta test drive it!!!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Op must be married to The Hulk. "HULK SMASH!" "Wait, it's too big!" "...no smash for Hulk?"
ImaginaryFoe 1
Not unless OP is abnormal in some way. I don't know how "wide" he is but I have serious doubts it's more than 10 cm. That's the standard diameter for delivering a baby vaginally. OP, take it slow and use a lubricant and you'll stretch to fit. Perhaps you should discuss with your gynecologist if it's really not happening.
aribari373 5
I would say if she's tearing then it's width
kakkuro 4
vaginal tearing. he's probably pretty big on both fronts
Mooish 18
Bigger vibrator needed.
ebonyirony 29
That's what I was thinking. And enough foreplay can also help accommodate him. However the ****** always returns to its normal size.
lucy_hewitt15 6
HAha
ByronJess 17
There are actually kits on the market to help slowly stretch you out so that your partner can fit more easily inside you. I'm not saying they're painless, but it might be something to look into.
onlychildFTW 34
Really? There is? Well I shouldn't be surprised I guess, there's a kit for everything now-a-days. Not saying that's a bad thing. Haha.
Dunvanation 4
There's an app for that!
Dunvanation 4
Here's a random comment. Dislike it if you want but I accidentally spammed and have no idea what to say now sooo... ''Dyslexic man walks into a bra'' Lol weak
curlyfry33 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If I walked I into a room while some random chick had a stretcher thing stuffed up there stretching it out, I would probly puke.
downtime 13
I'd be wondering what the hell I was doing in a strangers house. Who walks into rooms and finds random girls in there anyway? What sort of shit are you into...
Greggums 2
But then you will have a saggy ******?
mddaily21 0
Maybe
Iniezian 18
Don't worry, it's now commonly accepted that a lot of men are simply too large. There are now treatments, including penis reduction medication, and in extreme cases, surgery.
Wiebeski19 5
Yah
Wiebeski19 5
Whoops that yah isn't supposed to be there sorry
Xeserx 8
WTF! No man would so suck thing
Iniezian 18
Sometimes, a man has to if he wants to get laid. Seriously, our society attaches great importance to a big penis as part of manhood, but a penis that's too big is even worse than one that's too small.
retrorewind 13
huh?????
isaiaah 6
Have a good time making a guy take that! But I guess if it was size or sex he doesn't really have a choice
kait11 16
There is a surgery! I know someone who had to get it done before she had sex because the was too tight. Maybe you should look into it
Somefruits 24
That was probably for a specific condition. There are a couple of medical conditions where women physically cannot stretch, or their hymens are ''indestructible'' (they can't break naturally, and sex is very painful, it's called an imperforate hymen).
Khariau 8
Not strechable ?
Mrnice 8
Too bad that only one of you and your life could be effed, FYL