Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I reached a limit I wasn’t aware I had when I had to tell my husband we’re not having shower sex anymore because he’s gotten so big since he retired, we don’t both comfortably fit in there anymore. FML
Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML
Today, after many comments over years about her needing to lose weight, I had to tell the woman I love, the woman I married, that she had gotten so overweight that the sight of her naked made me want to puke. Apparently her goal was to get so fat I'd stop asking for sex. I'm her third divorce. FML
Today, three weeks after a traumatic emergency cesarean section, my husband keeps sulking because sex is the literal last thing I want right now. The fact that my body is still sore and healing is apparently irrelevant when he is horny. FML
Today, my wife, who NEVER wants to have sex, decided that now is the time. I, of course, had to take antibiotics that make me so bloated I can’t move without extreme pain. FML
Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML
Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML
Today, after my body has been ravaged, scarred, broken, and mutilated by cancer, my husband says it’s only fair for him to have a side piece, since the treatments to save my life have decimated my sex drive. But don’t worry, it’s just for his physical needs. He won’t “fall in love or anything.” FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
Today, I ended up in an awkward position during sex and dislocated my knee. My wife accused me of doing it on purpose to criticize her for being too fat and heavy for sex. FML
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Top comments
ByronJess 17
You do realize that the "back one" is tighter than the front one is? Your logic fails.
Wiebeski19 5
Just tell him to not go so far deep, if his lung. If he's wide well than your ****** lol
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Comments (201)
KociaQ 30
I know the problem and I found a solution to it: lube. Tearing happens because there is too much friction and that can be solved with lube...
isaiaah 6
Your righting an FML about it, but I bet anything that he's going to all his buddy's and telling them.
Dracoboxer357 36
171- Not every guy out there thinks it's funny or flattering that he hurts his partner while trying to be intimate. :( I still have to be careful with my wife after 6 years, and I don't laugh at her discomfort/pain. Just saying.....:p
isaiaah 6
Well vaginal sex isnt the only thing you can do! Theres all the other types of foreplay and different things like oral sex and such
ShawnieMichael 2
Just make an o with your hand and put it on the base of his p**is and let him screw you like that. That way he wont tear you up badly. Or talk to him about him putting his entire girth up your vag is painful and that he should take care not to screw you all the way.
TrentF13 12
**** yeah!
itsme1321 3
I love how suddenly, everyone on FML is a specialized gyno with mass expertise in OP's specific medical case...
japtap81 16
It's called having the same experience atleast once in our lifetime. The doctors would say the same thing we are telling her
itsme1321 3
Riiight, because every one who has ever had a medical issue has had the same exact problem and solution...yea...it's just that simple ;) And I highly doubt that doctors would suggest anal, or shoving a paper towel roll into her vag, or letting her hubs get a **** buddy...js
lowercaseG 13
Daaaaamn that sucks :(
Aquilla 1
Anyone comparing it to childbirth has no idea what they're talking about. The rules are completely different due to hormones and natural preparations the body makes for that moment. A vaginal suppository lubricant would tell you definitively if lube could even help at all and if that didn't work then what you are looking for is an episiotomy. It's simple and can be done in the clinic. Sometimes they do it before labor to control the tearing but it can be an elective surgery in cases like this. Everyone deserves spontaneous sex once in a while.
monish 0
LMFAO
yourmofo 6
Just talk about what you should name your next kid during sex, that should shrink his junk down.