Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML
Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Today, I was eating whilst driving. I tried to stop sauce from spilling on the console and instead smashed into a parked car. FML
Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML
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Top comments
JayGatsby 25
Could the pie not have waited till you got home?
MegasaurusRex89 28
Dean?
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Comments (100)
Nina825 21
Give me that pieeeeee
poorkitten 15
...and that's why there are distracted driving laws
worldclassrager 41
Breathalyser test would hold this true...but come on OP
puppie406 23
0.8% blood-pie?
geminijojo 10
Who cares? Why and how did the post even get past The moderating? Really who the **** cares!!
rachelllllb 18
mmm pie :)
Enzymatically 14
awkward much???
Kevinmeowbeanz 22
Dean Winchester?
Keiraquarium 12
You really couldn't have waited til when you got home to eat the pie? Or even just pull over and eat the pie? I can't stand dangerous drivers. My grandfather was killed by a drunk driver and, to me, this isn't much better. You're not only endangering your idiotic self but also every single other person on the road. Please have some responsibility and save your damn pie for later.
Lilkat39 5
really?! fml?!? Because you are much to stupid to just drive your car, and take a break from stuffing your gullet for 10 min or an hour. No **** our lives because you exist.
Sheepies123 6
Stop eating pie while driving ya fat lard.