Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML
Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Today, I was eating whilst driving. I tried to stop sauce from spilling on the console and instead smashed into a parked car. FML
Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML
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Top comments
JayGatsby 25
Could the pie not have waited till you got home?
MegasaurusRex89 28
Dean?
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Comments (100)
runninggirl8 16
what flavor was the pie?
CosmicElk 26
pie flavour!
LilMissCanadian 22
I don't know if that was an asdf video reference or not.
redhead_sprhro 10
I assumed it was one of those apple pies from McDonald's
paravoz 30
it was a creampie
MegasaurusRex89 28
Dean?
SomeoneSaveSammy 11
Aw you beat me too it! hah
thatonlinedude 5
and DO NOT forget the pie this time Sammy!
mariri9206 32
my thoughts exactly!
skye_tbfh 18
oh my god yes
SubparAtBest 23
*Sam walks in* *still no pie*
jocamo 24
Damnit! you beat me to it too!
falloutboytrash 10
*cries*
JayGatsby 25
Could the pie not have waited till you got home?
SystemofaBlink41 27
Have you ever eaten pie? Then you know what the answer is.
itsalanis 25
Cake is better.
SystemofaBlink41 27
True, but pie is still great.
GeorgiaBea 28
Pie never waits. It's pie.
vikky538 29
How can it be! Its a cream pie!
davincidasecond 24
Stop blaspheming, 14. Stop it.
SubparAtBest 23
Pie is far beyond cake its in a whole nother league!
jaspinkgrl01 18
How can one wait two eat what they love
Catdragon 40
the cake is a lie, but not the pie.
spicebread 4
I love eating while driving to be honest. And i'm from a country where we use gears.
SecundusSecunda 27
Did you offer the officer some? Reckless little OP?
juicy_extasy 25
Hopefully the pie was worth the possible trouble it got you into
Mossyoak_kw 28
It's pie, of course it was worth it!!
dansco 25
You are an idiot! So eating a pie is more important than safe driving. Genius.
quickit 24
Let me spell out a word for you, s-a-r-c-a-s-m. Once you learn it I'm sure you'll understand the comment section much better! :)
Thatissarcastic 17
In reality it's called facetious ;-; rip sarcasm nobody knows what you really are. Not that the comment was either of the two.
jake131000 21
I can actually relate to your comment as it is something that i would also post. But understand that acting like an asshole will not get you likes. Fun fact of the day: the capital of Somalia is mogadishu
YumeWolf 23
Was the pie good, though?
deftones_fml 19
Any type of pie can't wait
brycemash 9
No
brycemash 9
Must have been some of mama's blueberry pie.
heftysmash253 6
Did you give him/her a pie-ce of your mind?
SubparAtBest 23
Ok man so the word has to atleast sound right... cant just be the spelling.. So do better next time..