Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML
Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Today, I was eating whilst driving. I tried to stop sauce from spilling on the console and instead smashed into a parked car. FML
Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML
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Top comments
JayGatsby 25
Could the pie not have waited till you got home?
MegasaurusRex89 28
Dean?
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Comments (100)
Skulllily 23
Are you Dean Winchester?
sarcasmine 19
Is the pie okay?!
iBiteUrFaceXO 13
Almost the exact same thing happened to my sister. Only she was opening a package of hotdogs, and then offered the officer a hotdog. She got off.
NightKat 25
And cue the SPN fandom Is it bad that I immediately thought of Dean Winchester?
kjkoop 4
Here in Ontario, you would have been cited with distracted driving and issued a $1000 ticket. YDI.
FuckThisLogin 32
Unless you're the Mayor of a major city.
infiniteluckycat 5
I hope that's a euphemism.
BaDumTsss_fml 23
...maybe don't eat pie while driving
bapbap_fml 15
That would still get you a $300 ticket for distracted driving here. Not smart.
iAlissa 34
Better pie than beer.
delichick 27
God, I hope you got a ******* ticket for distracted driving. People like you make me glad I dont drive anymore and fear for my familys safety. The pie could have waited til you got to where you needed to go.