Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML
Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that my oven mitt has a hole. Time to get a new one, whenever my finger stops burning. FML
Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a makeshift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML
Today, I had to hide the entire drawer of kitchen knives under my bed just to keep my mother from stabbing her cheating boyfriend, and slashing his tires. This happens more often than I'd like to admit. FML
Today, I got way too used to using two oven mitts at once to take food out of the oven since I'm so clumsy. So, when I tried to take food out of the oven with the only one oven mitt I could find… Well, take a wild guess what happened. Go on, just try and guess it. FML
Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML
Today, I snuck into my aunt's house while she was working to raid her pantry, like I do most days. Excited for a snack cake, I went to the pantry. Apparently she'd found out, because there was a lock on it. FML
Today, while cooking dinner, I managed to set my oven mitt on fire. In my panic, I tried to throw it in the sink, but it landed on a stack of t-shirts, which were lying on the counter. Both the mitt and my favorite Sonic Youth t-shirt now have matching burn holes. FML
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Top comments
takeapieandrun 9
Those camera hackers have been getting out of hand recently...
SimmoRocks 1
Your Mom is retarded. FYL
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Comments (131)
SimmoRocks 1
Your Mom is retarded. FYL
mimmi_7 4
Some people are just illiterate. Doesn't mean they are retarded.
artc91 0
9 - Your comment makes no sense in regards to the FML. Helps if you actually know what illiterate means.
t765234 10
9- What does illiteracy have anything to do with this, she is obviously a paranoid loon.
lcecreamNSadness 2
Sounds more like OCD, to me.
flossybaben 0
9- yes it does, and because you don't know what it means your a retard
liquidfireKAN 0
37- I don't think that's what OCD is. OCD is a disorder where you need specific things to be a specific way. e.g. touching everything you touch with both hands
TheRealBruce 12
That is not true she probably watched signs a little too much.
zeeni26 5
fyl op did she wrap ur electronics in tin foil?
bigal1135 0
actually. hackers can get into them. and the tin foil does help. if any electronic device is connected to your wireless Internet ex iPods. hackers can get into them. as for the tin foil. it blocks wifi signal. but it would be easier to just shut wifi off.
zukinihudini 0
havent you seen Signs?
whyXD 13
I thought that was for aliens.
isac1234 0
i rated u down u look like a hoe
zendaddy0 0
anyone here red the book brain jack it could happen
hcs4life21 0
Why do people feel the need to use the word "retarded" when they talk??
BelleCharmante 7
I'm waiting for the day she makes a tinfoil hat.
Capriciousfox 27
She sounds schizophrenic
takeapieandrun 9
Those camera hackers have been getting out of hand recently...
EffTrae 0
Actually the theft of prepaid phones have gone through the roof.
ScaughtieHolden 11
Theft sure, but hacking, probably not.
Radix 3
she should guard her microwave from hackers next. always keep tinfoil inside so they don't know what she's cooking.
Tektite 14
LOL! Does she own a computer? Tell her to google "camera hackers" and.. if tin foil will.. protect. It'll save her a heart attack if the camera dies.
Tektite 14
Isn't tin foil used so Aliens couldn't read your minds? I think your mom is watching too much shit on TV.. and it's finally getting to her. lmao
starry71 0
Seriously. Get your mom some help. That isn't normal. It sounds like she may be schizophrenic.
daniel1991 0
wow im sorry but what he said ^
loveexgirl 15
Wait.. What?^
flossybaben 0
keep up man, the world doesn't wait
1215116a 14
wow im sorry but what you say?
wtftashaaa 5
Wow I'm sorry, OP. But yeah, I agree with what either 2 or 1 said. **
mimmi_7 4
Isn't that true though? :P
frolick123 0
well yes. im assuming this happened after the scandal in britain where the reporters hacked peoples cell phones... im also quite certain that tinfoil will reject any incoming internet signals. not an fml just her mom overreacting a little. what i find funny is all u idiots r ripping on OPs mom saying theres no hackers right after this massive scandal that resulted in the uncovering of corruption all through britains government AND the collapse of a multi million dollar news corporation...
frolick123 0
just noticed it said prepaid phone... still stands just wanted to add that i understand OPs mom is stupid (almost as much as the rest of u)
wrigglezeus 0
where the hell did you get corruption through the government from!? this was a newspaper owned by news Corp hacking peoples mobiles from the government to celebs. They supposedly paid off a few police and a couple of other people but this wasn't corruption of an entire government....!
Karlos7692 2
You do realize tin foil does not block Internet signals, you would need about about meter two meters thick tin foil wrapped around the electronics to have any effect in blocking signals provided you are in range of a router or transmitter. Even then it is nearly impossible to break the rsa key on a cell phone unless you install a faulty app that redirects the hacker past the rsa protocol so it's the users doing. My point is tin foil will do absolutely nothing because wireless devices connected to the Internet are electro-magnetic rays with a certain frequency. These rays are very small but even these rays can pass through about half a metro of lead which is an order of 2.5x denser than tin. So sorry tin does not do anything. OPs mother could just turn off the Internet connection, since you cannot hack a cellular data unless you bug it. But then again that would be the telecommunications company's fault since they would have to bug that line, if someone were to break into their home. So tin foil doesn't work, everyone is safe unless you download some fairly nasty things, bypassing rsa. (Just as a note, to break rsa there are literally 2^100 combinations, that is 2x2x2x2... even if hackers speed up their hack by double their speed, that is still 2^99 and computers can't process that many combinations to date, even super computers) and telecom companies provide safe phone usage since u physically have to tamper with the lines directly. The people who hack need a gateway in first meaning you have to install something such as a malware cookie by clicking on a site or by installing a virus, or an infected app.
WallyTheWombat 0
I can't believe I read all that. It reminds me of those old movies with hackers where it's all "Oh noes! He's haxing into the mainframe! I need to reroute the ISP encryption to the DLNS server! (Amongst other stuff that doesn't make any sense)." and in just watching like... UNPLUG THE MODEM!!!
flossybaben 0
34- my finger got tired trying to find the end of that paragraph
knights95 9
34 I can't thumb down ur comment from my iPod
sonrisapreciosa 6
Haha thats hilarious.. it makes you wonder where she gets her info from? O.o
bagleface 6
Fox
Mirorbo 27
But...digital cameras and prepaid phones...don't...have...inter... *brain breaks at the amount of stupidity*
sxe_beast 11
That's what they want you to think. LADY GAGA IS PART OF THE ILLUMINATI! SHE'S BRAINWASHING OUR SOCIETY!!! NEW... WORLD.. ORDER IS... GOIN...G TO TAKE OVER!
ElementalDragon 2
Well... If you want to get technical, there ARE SD cards for cameras and such that can be accessed through a wireless network...and I believe cameras are starting to move in that direction, too.
fckdupzf 0
this is senseless!
OneBigMessUp 5
How will she use the electronics if they are wrapped in tin foil and put into an oven mitt!?Surely it's would be time consuming constantly getting them out and wrapping them up again.
tsume24 3
is your mom friends with the mom who won't let her 15-year-old toast waffles?
jackiemoonthepro 5
good ol' fox news, teaching Americans how to live
ElectricEffect 13
Not quite sure we can blame Fox news for this one. That's a bit of a stretch.
MrSexyPants 14
We can blame Fox news for everything
flossybaben 0
we can blame Americans for everything to. Aussie rules!!!!!!!!!!
1215116a 14
Yes I do quiet like my Aussie products well. The leave-in conditioner smells wonderful.
flossybaben 0
wow American backlash, chill
1215116a 14
I'm sorry about my spew of hatred, I shall chill now.
flossybaben 0
96- no you don't need to chill your cool man, I mean the -16 dislikes. funny
ElectricEffect 13
105 - That's better than my comment getting dislikes for stating an actual fact. Ignorance is bliss is suppose. What? Your dog just died? Curse youuuu Fox News!! Idiots. Grow up.
1215116a 14
I think that was sarcasm being used 108.
flossybaben 0
well duh
flossybaben 0
wait sorry this is the wrong post, damn iPhone ("well duh" is not meant to be there)
ElectricEffect 13
109- On any other occasion I'd agree with you, had my comment not gotten dislikes just because people detest fox news so much that they couldn't handle my realism. I was talking more about the people who thumbed it down than the actual comments themselves.