Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML
Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Today, I was eating whilst driving. I tried to stop sauce from spilling on the console and instead smashed into a parked car. FML
Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML
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Top comments
JayGatsby 25
Could the pie not have waited till you got home?
MegasaurusRex89 28
Dean?
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Comments (100)
ellisp1 15
He hasn't followed up yet, he must've got arrested...
Sphanz 17
If you are gonna eat pie in the car. Pull over first.
Punkgirl4554 20
They teach you in driver's training that you're no to talk on the phone, eat, drink, or be drunk whilst driving. It's also common sense because you need to be as alert as possible.
MissuhGrey 10
Worth it
samlovesham1234 9
Sorry, but you deserved the ticket. Even if you were eating something, it's still distracted driving.
berkeleyjake 13
DUIP
bobsanction 18
Maybe you shouldn't be driving.
SLdeej 11
Seriously? If you have a food addiction so bad that you can't wait until you got home to eat a freaking pie, then you definitely deserve this one.
IamHM 14
Don't pie & drive. Hope you were able to salvage it.
ApplePie1994 27
That's amore...?