Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML
Today, I got pulled over for a broken taillight. When I rolled down the window, the cop asked me if I was smoking crack. When I told him I didn't do drugs, he didn't believe me since he could detect a foul odor coming from my car. I'd just passed gas big time. FML
Today, I made the decision to quit smoking while I was driving in my car. So I took my pack, crushed it and threw it out the window. I felt triumphant about this change I was making in my life, until the cop I didn't know was behind me gave me a ticket for littering. FML
Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML
Today, I drove a different work vehicle, one with the cupholder right behind the gear lever. After multiple accidental attempts at changing gears with my Coke bottle, I threw it out the window in a temper. I then got busted for littering. FML
Today, I was massively hungover and driving home. I had a strong suspicion that I was gonna ralph so I was smart and pulled over. I emptied the contents of my stomach into a shopping bag and was proud I didn't make a mess all over the car. Seconds later, the bottom of the bag gave out. FML
Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML
Today, I was eating whilst driving. I tried to stop sauce from spilling on the console and instead smashed into a parked car. FML
Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML
Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML
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Top comments
revan546 24
Why didn't you just open all the windows? It wouldn't smell that bad..
justtheotherguy 12
well at least your car is still smelling new & that's what matters
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Comments (161)
mindjob 14
Well, did it work?
sarah5745 41
Well technically yes, since he lost his lunch. Not really a question to ask..
Soviet_American 29
Op's a girl..
sarah5745 41
Didn't realise until after I posted
octinate 17
At least he didn't lose an arm or crash!
mattrd_fml 31
I think we established that op is a girl.
revan546 24
Why didn't you just open all the windows? It wouldn't smell that bad..
sirliam99 12
But then he wouldn't have that new car smell (reread the fml)
bethyworks 16
#2 That's what I was thinking OP should have done. Could've also gotten a car freshener, some smell really good.
Brandi_Faith 34
This is so what my dad would do. He doesn't like food stinking up his car so he puts it in the trunk sometimes so the smell is at least contained.
sarah5745 41
I think that opening all the windows is much better than the risk of injury while driving with one hand. Op should have been a bit more careful
feelingold 18
ermmm....ever considered that maybe you just don't buy smelly food in a drive thru if you don't want to have it in the car?
Khaleesi_26 30
Food stinking? Food smells heavenly, what are y'all talking about. :P
killerdana 19
I'd rather my car smell like burgers and fries. For some reason new car smell gives me a headache. I hope the cop laughed at you
drbakhonlock 18
Someone I agree with finally!!
justtheotherguy 12
well at least your car is still smelling new & that's what matters
orbit 22
Idk I think I'd rather have my car smell like burgers and fries
Just_A_Tree 20
Did the police officer question the OP on how many pesos he spent on his drugs? OP, I'm sorry that you don't respect the cow that died for your food enough to welcome it lovingly into your new smelling car. But seriously, not worth it. Buy air fresheners
junkman6 22
#50 made me really hungry for some dead cow though. Steak for dinner!
tony1891 22
#50 was referring to a previous fml post about selling drugs for pesos.
Just_A_Tree 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
#58, do you take this cow, lovingly? Will you cherish it forever, and allow it's scent to waft through the air vents in your new car? Will you be there through food poisoning, and in perfection?
fordneagles 34
Probably didn't respect the cow that died to make the leather that covered the seats either.
StiffPvtParts 43
That "new car smell" isn't actually a real thing. Car dealerships spray that stuff to make cars smell brand new... And I'd, I worked at a car dealership :3
orbit 22
But the new car smell is real...it's the smell of unmolested leather and plastic.
Esoterity 6
Well, to be fair, the new car smell IS so good it's nearly orgasmic.
sayyestothedress 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Orgasmic? Is that even a word?
Ltsdragons 19
Well if OP thought it through, I'm pretty sure he would've rather preferred the smell of fried and burgers over getting pulled over and having to explain everything to the cop
cjlerch 29
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You must have some insanely weird fetishes, if the smell can nearly induce an ****** for you..
Sillsallad 15
At least it's better than the feeling of rust!
omnia 5
Are you a transformer?
woainishamu 21
You ain't lovin it.
schhichick 14
It's possible she went to In-N-Out.
zawesomee 14
Or have it her way.
TiiBags 15
"Pa da pa paa paaaa, I'm lovin' it!"
CallMeWindSock 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Pick up the burger and fries and bribe him with it.
myoukei 31
It wouldn't work. They aren't doughnuts.
FunGhoost 10
Should of asked for extra plastic bags and tie. Also wouldn't your lunch be cold if you put it outside while driving?
junkman6 22
I have to be that guy..... "should have" come on people the sites been around long enough.
Ali_Br_fml 33
I have to be that girl... "site's". ("Sites" is plural for "site", and "site's" is "site is" or "site has", just like "it's" means "it is" or "it has") The word you were looking for was site's for site has. "The site has been around long enough." "The site's been around long enough."
chinaski7628 32
Can I play, too? #91 has one unnecessary comma and a missed period. :)
Ali_Br_fml 33
Lol, yes you may. :)
RastaZebra 8
My turn, everyone knew what everyone was saying, and everyone thinks you guys are annoying.
Ali_Br_fml 33
Yes we are, but it's so fun. ;-) #103 was being annoying to me for being annoying to #59 for being annoying to #7. ;)
gramirez23 9
Black ice tree freshener, works amazing!
cryssycakesx3 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
ugh those are awful.
glabberfasted 16
This is the exact opposite of what OP wants.
capthigh 16
OR a new car smell air fresher...
Rizzen 27
haha, dumbass
DocBastard 40
I'd rather my car smell like a burger and fries all the time. Mmmm...burger and fries...
j_cat187 20
what about rancid burger juice from last week's burger?