Today, I had to bite the bullet and finally buy maternity pants. Problem is, I'm not pregnant and I'm a 25-year-old man. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to give in and order men's jeans, just so I could have functional pockets. Ordinarily not a problem, except I have wide hips and a suitable size doesn't seem to exist. FML
Today, while shopping for clothes, I asked the assistant to recommend something for me. She took me to the maternity section. Thanks, but I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I tend to get bloated in the afternoons when I suffer from stress. Lately, I've been so stressed out that I'm seriously considering buying maternity pants, because not even my stretchiest sweat pants will fit me after 4 p.m. FML
Today, I now know why my new jeans are so comfy. They're maternity jeans. I thought the soft elastic in front was just for added comfort. Apparently, I need to lose some weight. FML
Today, I'm 35 years-old and I had to buy myself a hat from the kids section. FML
Today, I had to buy another pair of "fat jeans", because my old "fat jeans" became my new "skinny jeans." FML
Today, I'm 25-years-old and I need to wear an adult diaper as I have lost my bladder control. FML
Today, I wet my pants at the grocery store. I didn't feel like I had to go until I was inside. The embarrassing thing (besides me being 37)? I actually made it to the store's public bathroom and made it to the toilet, but my belt was on so tightly that I had to undo it and it doesn't work like an ordinary belt. FML
Today, I asked my mom to buy me new shorts. She bought fluffy bubble shorts. I'm a 20 year-old guy. FML
Today, I have to go on a diet, because I can't afford to buy bigger clothes. FML
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Top comments
foxwasalamb 24
thinking you should lose some weight...
JMichael 26
Go the gym if you're not satisfied with your weight
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Comments (95)
bobsanction 18
Maybe you should stop biting things. Or shop at a store that stocks larger sizes. I'm a fat guy and I buy my pants at Walmart.
meegal 12
I mean this in the most respectful way possible. Maybe you should lose some weight rather than complain about having to buy fat pants? There really is no downside to living a more healthy life. Your life will improve drastically. More self confidence, better love life, healthier, and so many more things will get better. I wish you the best of luck if you make the right decision to lose some weight! It'll be hard but it's worth it.
middlenamefrank 8
Um...as a large guy myself, there are clothes available that will fit you well and look good, no matter your size. There's a lot less shame shopping at the big & tall shop than shopping in maternity. You may not look like Brad Pitt but you can still show some pride and dignity in who you are.
GentlemanBastard 15
Dude, I feel ya. I'm 25, and since I've been married, all my pants are getting too tight. This happens sometimes when you settle down. But maternity pants? That's too much, man. Get yourself to a nutrition specialist or something, before you end up on one of those discovery health documentaries where you're so big you need someone to sponge off your balls because you can't reach them. Best of luck to you!
Heathtastic 10
Sounds like diet and exercise could help you
metalhead88 9
Maybe a gym membership would be suitable, after all you are only 25
GEFStryker 29
Stop eating bullets OP. They are empty calories, go straight to the love handles.
Thatguy334 7
May I recommend a diet and a gym membership. A personal trainer couldn't hurt either
FrankHotpants 31
As most of the comments suggest, this should be an eye opener for you, a realization that maybe it's time to change your lifestyle, if that is in fact a contributing factor for your weight gain. You control your weight sir, you hit that gym and you hit it hard.
theforcekin 2
I suggest a diet to start. Possibly a run every morning a little later, maybe even now. We all have to start somewhere man!