Today, I had to bite the bullet and finally buy maternity pants. Problem is, I'm not pregnant and I'm a 25-year-old man. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to give in and order men's jeans, just so I could have functional pockets. Ordinarily not a problem, except I have wide hips and a suitable size doesn't seem to exist. FML
Today, while shopping for clothes, I asked the assistant to recommend something for me. She took me to the maternity section. Thanks, but I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I tend to get bloated in the afternoons when I suffer from stress. Lately, I've been so stressed out that I'm seriously considering buying maternity pants, because not even my stretchiest sweat pants will fit me after 4 p.m. FML
Today, I now know why my new jeans are so comfy. They're maternity jeans. I thought the soft elastic in front was just for added comfort. Apparently, I need to lose some weight. FML
Today, I'm 35 years-old and I had to buy myself a hat from the kids section. FML
Today, I had to buy another pair of "fat jeans", because my old "fat jeans" became my new "skinny jeans." FML
Today, I'm 25-years-old and I need to wear an adult diaper as I have lost my bladder control. FML
Today, I wet my pants at the grocery store. I didn't feel like I had to go until I was inside. The embarrassing thing (besides me being 37)? I actually made it to the store's public bathroom and made it to the toilet, but my belt was on so tightly that I had to undo it and it doesn't work like an ordinary belt. FML
Today, I asked my mom to buy me new shorts. She bought fluffy bubble shorts. I'm a 20 year-old guy. FML
Today, I have to go on a diet, because I can't afford to buy bigger clothes. FML
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Top comments
foxwasalamb 24
thinking you should lose some weight...
JMichael 26
Go the gym if you're not satisfied with your weight
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Comments (95)
foxwasalamb 24
thinking you should lose some weight...
sweetest_jenn 18
Someone's a chubby bunny. How about doing some bunny hops and lay off the carrot cakes for a little while? All jokes aside, exercise is good for the body and soul! :)
cakefete2 31
On the bright side, OP has excellent vision.
BvbArmy_0 18
Hold up, why did he even buy women's clothing???
GEBEH 14
77# Because he is so fat, I feel like you're missing the entire point of the story.
JMichael 26
Go the gym if you're not satisfied with your weight
LunaaBluee 27
Going to the gym can be very hard for some people. I would recommend he fixed his diet, he's overweight from all the junk he's been eating. You'd be amazed at how much weight one can lose by simply eating completely healthy.
MissSarcasm01 18
What the **** are you, a nutritionist?
juan3611 14
#66 this comment made me laugh for some reason XD
miyaviichan 27
Well, you don't know that he's overweight because he eats junk. That's kind of a mean conclusion to jump to.
hulopro 16
You've hit a new low...
AnOriginalName 19
Or a new high.... Weight.
Sebastian2022 22
It's never too late to start working out my friend, I know it's tough, but YOU CAN DO IT! I HAVE FAITH IN YOU BRO!
MandyMeow_fml 18
Sounds like you've been pregnant with a food baby for awhile now
Ian7890 23
don't feed the fire #16
KingMomo360 13
@5 Best comment I've read on here.
Bragi 12
Six pizzas until the due date.
hdecorah 7
Bit a lot more than a bullet, I'd say.
NITEMARE4U 9
Might want to invest in a gym membership... Just a suggestion Best of luck OP
hxnnxh 14
You don't need to pay £20 a month to loose weight. Just go for a run outside and ditch the fatty foods! You can do it OP!!
zebrainthenight 13
I bet it was awkward when you were paying for it... "This is for my... um... wife?"
iLike2Teabag 27
"But let me just go try it on first... Well don't give me that look!"
Mattribute 13
At 25? Dang.
Lil_Red777 21
Considering there's morbidly obese children, it shouldn't be that hard to see a morbidly obese adult.
heybud289 9
You should of bit the bullet on a gym membership.
illegalbeagle69 23
Yeah, you're right. That kind have makes sense.
Tuttiefrutti 9
gym memberships can get really expensive, really quickly... a jog around the park, or just a walk around the block are good ways to start. if you don't feel confident, go with a friend that you trust