Today, my girlfriend told me the reason she asked me to shave my beard. When I go down on her shaved, it feels more like her ex-boyfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me shave my chest. Afterwards, she said I looked like I was 12. She won't have sex with me until it grows back. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML
Today, I had my hair done for the first time in 3 years. I loved it. My boyfriend told me I look like his ex. FML
Today, after I watched my girlfriend get her head shaved in preparation for chemo a few days ago, I took the clippers and buzzed my long, well kept hair, gave her a loving hug, reminding her that, "We're at this together." She later broke up with me because I, pretty much, "look like shit." FML
Today, my wife told me that she was leaving me for someone with more hair. FML
Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML
Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has more hair on her abdomen than I have on mine. FML
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Top comments
THEMTCHELL 0
she means me
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Well, come on, Santa! Ya think them ho ho hoes want facial hair down there when you're gettin em jolly in the bedroom? Your pole may be pointing north, but she doesn't want your beard on her milky cookie!
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Comments (58)
THEMTCHELL 0
she means me
shalbriri 0
uncalled for.
unidentified_sta 5
Uncalled for? Bullshit, that is impossible as nothing is ever uncalled for.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Well, come on, Santa! Ya think them ho ho hoes want facial hair down there when you're gettin em jolly in the bedroom? Your pole may be pointing north, but she doesn't want your beard on her milky cookie!
railboy1 0
^ well that's just about the biggest case of WIN ever :)
lol_ironic_life 9
Haha that's the funniest comment I've seen from you IzBATroll :)
perdix 31
You'd better do good tongue work down there, or you'll be the ex and he'll get another chance!
frear 0
^^ Win
Taq_fml 0
Maybe she needs to shave her beard before he does that!!! XD
gorina 0
At least she told you instead of pretending it WAS him and enjoying the fact.
Mr_Alex 5
At least she didn't try comparing your 'technique' to his as well!!
UpsidedownKayak 9
That's next, she is changing him one thing at a time.
jmmwng 7
win xD
smellyturkey 0
OUCH!!!
IndianForLife 0
This is why here in India we do not go down on our women.
karina02 9
@14 There must be little to no women.
mintcar 10
Then shave, problem solved.
noeryu 1
ydi for dating someone who's not over her ex.
bhj_omar 0
haha agreed
crystalxa 35
Jeez OP! You need to get ride of her ASAP!