Today, I had to bite the bullet and finally buy maternity pants. Problem is, I'm not pregnant and I'm a 25-year-old man. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to give in and order men's jeans, just so I could have functional pockets. Ordinarily not a problem, except I have wide hips and a suitable size doesn't seem to exist. FML
Today, while shopping for clothes, I asked the assistant to recommend something for me. She took me to the maternity section. Thanks, but I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I tend to get bloated in the afternoons when I suffer from stress. Lately, I've been so stressed out that I'm seriously considering buying maternity pants, because not even my stretchiest sweat pants will fit me after 4 p.m. FML
Today, I now know why my new jeans are so comfy. They're maternity jeans. I thought the soft elastic in front was just for added comfort. Apparently, I need to lose some weight. FML
Today, I'm 35 years-old and I had to buy myself a hat from the kids section. FML
Today, I had to buy another pair of "fat jeans", because my old "fat jeans" became my new "skinny jeans." FML
Today, I'm 25-years-old and I need to wear an adult diaper as I have lost my bladder control. FML
Today, I wet my pants at the grocery store. I didn't feel like I had to go until I was inside. The embarrassing thing (besides me being 37)? I actually made it to the store's public bathroom and made it to the toilet, but my belt was on so tightly that I had to undo it and it doesn't work like an ordinary belt. FML
Today, I asked my mom to buy me new shorts. She bought fluffy bubble shorts. I'm a 20 year-old guy. FML
Today, I have to go on a diet, because I can't afford to buy bigger clothes. FML
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Top comments
foxwasalamb 24
thinking you should lose some weight...
JMichael 26
Go the gym if you're not satisfied with your weight
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Comments (95)
can_you_not_ 10
You're still young! Go to the gym and work that extra weight off!
chickenman12312 12
It's never too late to start working out, Roy!
sxm 13
Quit biting on the food and exercise. :-).
Stefanie88 24
Getting regular jeans in a large size is not enough?
abattior 18
captin sweat pants?
Frankie1234 9
Maybe you should put down the fork?
CapDeMilo 4
Sounds like you're a fat **** an deserve it
erikahall21 9
In all honesty if you can afford maternity clothes, which aren't cheap. Then you can afford a gym membership. don't waste money on bigger clothes. Lose the weight and buy new and smaller sized clothes to show off your improvement.
alicat13 12
Crossdresser!
nannyRayRay 14
I am guessing you wanted pants that fit your legs better but actually button (also fit) around your stomach too Loved reading this and picturing it :) thanks for the image :D