Today, I had to bite the bullet and finally buy maternity pants. Problem is, I'm not pregnant and I'm a 25-year-old man. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to give in and order men's jeans, just so I could have functional pockets. Ordinarily not a problem, except I have wide hips and a suitable size doesn't seem to exist. FML
Today, while shopping for clothes, I asked the assistant to recommend something for me. She took me to the maternity section. Thanks, but I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I tend to get bloated in the afternoons when I suffer from stress. Lately, I've been so stressed out that I'm seriously considering buying maternity pants, because not even my stretchiest sweat pants will fit me after 4 p.m. FML
Today, I now know why my new jeans are so comfy. They're maternity jeans. I thought the soft elastic in front was just for added comfort. Apparently, I need to lose some weight. FML
Today, I'm 35 years-old and I had to buy myself a hat from the kids section. FML
Today, I had to buy another pair of "fat jeans", because my old "fat jeans" became my new "skinny jeans." FML
Today, I'm 25-years-old and I need to wear an adult diaper as I have lost my bladder control. FML
Today, I wet my pants at the grocery store. I didn't feel like I had to go until I was inside. The embarrassing thing (besides me being 37)? I actually made it to the store's public bathroom and made it to the toilet, but my belt was on so tightly that I had to undo it and it doesn't work like an ordinary belt. FML
Today, I asked my mom to buy me new shorts. She bought fluffy bubble shorts. I'm a 20 year-old guy. FML
Today, I have to go on a diet, because I can't afford to buy bigger clothes. FML
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Top comments
foxwasalamb 24
thinking you should lose some weight...
JMichael 26
Go the gym if you're not satisfied with your weight
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Comments (95)
Soundslikeothers 15
Bit the bullet? Maybe if you quit biting so many things and hut the gym you wouldn't have to buy maternity pants.
mosquito19 14
you probably need bras too.
nschamschurin 1
This is brilliant
jonmaster69 7
I do believe its time to get off your fat ******* ass and work out
beerlaoisawesome 10
Eat less, move more
graceinsheepwear 34
Maternity pants imply you plan to keep letting your weight increase. Just start now to at least not gain.
guyssite 4
There is no shortage of places to buy pants for fat guys. If OP bought maternity pants instead, then that's OP's issue to deal with. It wasn't a necessity. It was an extremely weird choice.
vikky538 29
well you already bite the bullet ...all you have to do know is work out and lose weight...
worldclassrager 41
Try hitting the gym...
an3ph 20
Gaa, that sucks man! You might want to do something about that.