Today, while shopping for clothes, I asked the assistant to recommend something for me. She took me to the maternity section. Thanks, but I'm not pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
Today, I went to Seattle with my mom to visit my pregnant sister, only to end up being dragged to a store to buy maternity clothes. The saleswoman apologized to me repeatedly for not having a lounge for the fathers, but congratulated me on the baby. I'm a girl. FML
Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I went shopping at a thrift store. I found a really cute top that fit me perfectly, so I bought it. Afterwards, I noticed the original tag was still on it. It read: "designed with your pregnancy in mind". It was a maternity top. FML
Today, while shopping in the baby department at a local department store, a woman approached me asking when I was due. I told her that I was due in 4 months. I lied. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML
Today, I was carrying some bags out of a store, and my shirt had scooted up a little. I had no free hands, so I ignored it. A woman stopped me to tell me that bare midriffs are only attractive on skinny girls, "not fat ones." I'm 6 months pregnant. FML
Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML
Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I had to bite the bullet and finally buy maternity pants. Problem is, I'm not pregnant and I'm a 25-year-old man. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Dracoboxer357 36
Hmm. Free and honest advice comes in all forms. Perhaps this is a sign? ;p Either way, I imagine that didn't make you feel good about yourself. Sorry Op.
jessonice88 14
Next time, do your own shopping. ;P
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (81)
The_Big_Boss 20
Take that as a hint to go to the gym
spoo 24
Agreed, sadly some will say that's not a choice... Cuz neither was the 2nd cheezeburger, extra large cheese fries or super sized soda :o Sorry OP, but +1 for the assistant if your weight is indeed out of control
anticulas 12
I don't eat sweets, fatty foods, or high amounts of sugar, yet I am overweight. It isn't always a choice to be overweight, but it is a choice to be a prick about it to others. There are kinder ways to say it.
edanielleh 21
Sorry, but i don't buy that. Not unless you have a real medical problem. my entire family is fat accept for one person. Me. Why is that? Because i do not eat like any of them. I lost weight, you can too! And you can eat health food (but too much of it) and gain weight. If you like your weight, cool. But don't say you have no control. Empower yourself.
Voij 16
26, I obviously don't know the details about your life, but mentioning types of food does not assist in showing that you know how to handle one's own weight. Sweets, fat foods and the like don't make you gain weight and don't prevent you from losing weight. Taking in more calories than you burn is what makes you gain weight. What types of foods you eat for this is only of secondary concern and starts to matter when you're not just concerned about weight, but rather about the quality of your life. After all, healthy foods make a healthy body, not a slim body. A slim body is achieved by watching and controlling your intake and output. (Healthy food is easier to transform into energy though, which helps in supporting activities that then burn this energy.)
obviousboy 8
They call it diet AND exercise for a reason.
flea_of_death 23
I'm gonna be the bad guy and say that it's true that you can't control it, but only sometimes. I gained 20 pounds when I started band camp in August and I was eating a lot less. Now that I'm not marching as much and eating more, I've lost weight (10 pounds). I had no control over that at all. (if I ate less, I would have passed out) sometimes the body is just weird.
obviousboy 8
It's beyond me as to why the first comment is -8 and this one is 10. You essentially said the same thing.
TheCanucklehead 22
Flex for the assistant. Show her who's boss
amDes 11
#38 eating less can have a bad effect if you went to the extreme. Your body can go into starvation mode and store fat, or maybe it lowered your metabolism. Plus you didn't have control of how the food was made. many things can trigger weight gain. I didn't think I ate poorly or overate, but then I got an app where you write everything down and it shows the calories. I was shocked! But now I know.
Robbieisadowg 16
#39 the way #1 said it was a little more rude than how #35 said it.
\ 28
Big_Boss, please stop trolling. I didn't know you were a repeat offender until I backtracked to this FML.
DevinEleven 8
That's a bit of a dick move! Be nice or don't comment at all!!
katykoolcat 13
I work full time at 7-4 everyday i forget to eat anything till im home and then its a sandwich, pasta, jackets or a roast dinner maybe 300-800 calories a day. I hate chocolate and crisps and chips and yet im overweight. So please dont write about How calories count.
Insanemf18 12
It's not only calories it's also how much you eat if it's not a regulated normal amount then your body will start to save up any non used calories as fat that's why you need a healthy regulated diet
aforbiddendance 23
It might be a little hint.. But it sucks, OP.
Arrow44 10
Ya, maybe the assistant was just taking you to wear the clothes would actually fit?
HotRose 18
Sorry OP, but I think it's time to lay off the beer. In all seriousness though, if your belly is round like a pregnant belly, you may want to see whats going on. Many people I've met have had bad cysts on their ovaries and on their stomachs. They say its not painful until they burst, or get too large. I highly doubt you have this problem, but if your belly is growing out and round their may be an underlining problem. I'm not a doctor, but I recommend you see one.
Dracoboxer357 36
Hmm. Free and honest advice comes in all forms. Perhaps this is a sign? ;p Either way, I imagine that didn't make you feel good about yourself. Sorry Op.
jessonice88 14
Next time, do your own shopping. ;P
BillMurray_fml 12
She literally asked for that one.
MichellinMan 20
#21 I do agree, she asked for advice, she got. If I was the assistant I wouldn't of taken her to a section full of medium size clothes, etc. Also, I have a problem, I think there's ghosts in my house. Wanna help me out?
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I always thought you lived in a tire, Michelin man!
thestrangedude 10
Perhaps you had a "glow" and it was nothing to do with your size? Sorry I got nothing!
tranced_ 45
they always find ways to humiliate you politely
feven 32
Maybe they don't sell plus sized at that store.
MichellinMan 20
*facepalm*
olpally 33
What an asshole! I can't believe the person would assume you're pregnant! Jerk!
Grayness_ 26
Oh shut up (but since we're typing, just stop)
CallMeWindSock 24
Take the hint, OP.
slooby_fml 25
Maybe they have something cute in a small enough size that it will fit you
happylappy 21
It's kind on insulting even if it does look good. My nana accidentally bought a maternity shirt for my mom and it looks great on her but she refuses to wear it because of the label.
slooby_fml 25
That's...just sad really. That doesn't need to matter if we don't let it