Today, I had to bite the bullet and finally buy maternity pants. Problem is, I'm not pregnant and I'm a 25-year-old man. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Womens' pockets liberation now!
Today, I had to give in and order men's jeans, just so I could have functional pockets. Ordinarily not a problem, except I have wide hips and a suitable size doesn't seem to exist. FML
Today, while shopping for clothes, I asked the assistant to recommend something for me. She took me to the maternity section. Thanks, but I'm not pregnant. FML
Gas giant
Today, I tend to get bloated in the afternoons when I suffer from stress. Lately, I've been so stressed out that I'm seriously considering buying maternity pants, because not even my stretchiest sweat pants will fit me after 4 p.m. FML
Today, I now know why my new jeans are so comfy. They're maternity jeans. I thought the soft elastic in front was just for added comfort. Apparently, I need to lose some weight. FML
Pinhead
Today, I'm 35 years-old and I had to buy myself a hat from the kids section. FML
Today, I had to buy another pair of "fat jeans", because my old "fat jeans" became my new "skinny jeans." FML
Pampered
Today, I'm 25-years-old and I need to wear an adult diaper as I have lost my bladder control. FML
Panic! at the grocery store
Today, I wet my pants at the grocery store. I didn't feel like I had to go until I was inside. The embarrassing thing (besides me being 37)? I actually made it to the store's public bathroom and made it to the toilet, but my belt was on so tightly that I had to undo it and it doesn't work like an ordinary belt. FML
Buy your own then!
Today, I asked my mom to buy me new shorts. She bought fluffy bubble shorts. I'm a 20 year-old guy. FML
Today, I have to go on a diet, because I can't afford to buy bigger clothes. FML
Top comments
foxwasalamb 24
thinking you should lose some weight...
JMichael 26
Go the gym if you're not satisfied with your weight
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Comments (95)
cailey1234567890 24
Umm Why dont you just buy a larger size of mens clothing?
SarahDoll018 7
Was the women's maternity section a last resort....?? Or we're you enticed by the comfy stretchy waistband??
Brandi_Faith 34
OP probably has a big stomach but smaller legs and still wanted the legs to fit so he thought the stretchy waistband of maternity pants would work.
gemcguire 13
This could be a turning point for you.
mysadlyfe 9
Plot twist, you ARE pregnant
MidnaLink 35
Even better Plot Twist: Reread the story!
hxnnxh 14
I think we're over the whole 'plot twist' thing now.
World_Burner 13
^Plot twist! We aren't? :(
bjhhjh 20
Sounds like the simpsons movie!
tzemmy 25
im pretty sure they dont make male maternity pants... please, for everyone's sake, dont wear womans clothing.
Sigilwen 24
Clothing doesn't have a gender, it's us humans that say whats for a man or not.
TheAbstract 15
Shhh, 20, don't say anything progressive. You might scare them.
RedPillSucks 33
Actually, the fashion industry do make mens and womens clothing differently. Womens pants tend to be wider at the hip (proportionally) cause womens hips are wider. And have you ever seen the pockets on womens pants? They're almost non-existent.
SpamPam 18
#20 is right. Gendered clothing is what is called a "social construct. Just like how pink used to be considered a boys color and blue a girls color. Besides adjusting sizes for crotches and breasts there really isn't anything else that may make clothes "specifically for one gender" and who cares if someone wants to wear whatever clothes they want?
erikahall21 9
Well seeing how maternity pants are for pregnant women and women are the only ones who can get pregnant I would say maternity clothes are for the females unless your a weirdo.
604 11
And it appears you've used your real name for your FML account... Say goodbye to anonymity!
subhaan786 19
Well seems like you don't only need to work out but change your diet! Eat a lot less and keep yourself hungry for longer that way your body can burn the fat Good luck OP
cakefete2 31
The "keep yourself hungry" part might be problematic. The key might be portion control. We wouldn't want to advocate starvation diets, that has its own set of heath concerns.
lulinator 40
Should never "keep yourself hungry." Your metabolism shuts down. Best to eat small meals five times a day, to keep your body burning calories.
subhaan786 19
I clearly said for longer, OP obviously gains an appetite quickly for him to eat a lot, hence he should let him self stay hungry for longer, I didn't say starve yourself
LennyComa 39
Your still young enough to lose the weight. It get's harder the older you get.
SideOfTheAngels 23
You bought women's pants? At least go to a guys Big an Tall or something?!
KelseyNinja 7
American food style... Glad I'm Chinese.