lyfisdyno
Malvern, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
kiwi
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Backhanded
Today, as I was getting dressed after having sex with a guy I like, he told me I looked better with my clothes on. FML
briiiiiiii123
Buffalo, United States 🌶️ Spicy
You tried
Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML
Anonymous
Lebanon 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
notsohappy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Anonymous
Gloucester, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
First time
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
forewhatnow
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Downhill from here
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
stillkindahorny
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
Anonymous
Reserved
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
confusedcatlover
London, United Kingdom
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had sex with a Juggalo. FML
Top comments
Wizardo 34
Was it finger lickin' good though? If not you should turn on the damn lights next time...
bellydancer82 15
I feel like too much of this story is missing....
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Comments (184)
Dodge4x4Ram 46
you can tell your future kid where he/she was created
hbake 13
It was pretty obvious what he was wearing before you got down. So I'm just trying to find your logic as to how you want us to agree your life sucks.
buckdharma 38
Congratulations, you have earned your Hot Wings and are officially part of the Colonel's Club!
ShoyuSauceSoup 26
Will you get a free chicken bucket because of this, OP?
cmac86 24
instead of ky jelly did you use chicken grease?
klovemachine 24
That's nasty :O
rememberkids 14
*Cleveland voice*
luminis12 23
Were you trying to get free chicken?
ShoyuSauceSoup 26
Just gimme gimme gimme fried chicken!
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Why OP, why?
JordynnLOL 11
So your standards are low then?
myind_yabiness 13
You are never allowed to say or use the word Ratchet again. Unless you're referring to yourself.
morella_xx 29
I would really like it if everyone stopped using this word, unless referring to the tool.
Peachy2392 26
Agreed! I can't stand that word.