lyfisdyno
Malvern, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
kiwi
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Backhanded
Today, as I was getting dressed after having sex with a guy I like, he told me I looked better with my clothes on. FML
briiiiiiii123
Buffalo, United States 🌶️ Spicy
You tried
Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML
Anonymous
Lebanon 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
notsohappy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Anonymous
Gloucester, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
First time
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
forewhatnow
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Downhill from here
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
stillkindahorny
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
pchis4ever
United States
What are the odds?
Today, I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML
Anonymous
Reserved
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
confusedcatlover
London, United Kingdom
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
Top comments
Wizardo 34
Was it finger lickin' good though? If not you should turn on the damn lights next time...
bellydancer82 15
I feel like too much of this story is missing....
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Comments (184)
catanita 18
I'm confused. Who was wearing the uniform, you or the guy?
drshn 22
Well somebody likes both boneless and bone(r) chicken. was juicy enough.
dirtydiana57 3
You have low standards.
MoRgAnLoVeSJM 8
Are you black? Must love that fried chicken
love_rose18 9
Did he promise you free chicken??
crazycatlady1192 5
Feel proud of yourself?
guttedbrit 26
Love how you judge a guy by his uniform. And maybe you should have avoided having sex with him if it was so repelling.
LegolasPrincess 10
Why did you come to FML of all places? Cause you're not gonna get any pity here.
LegolasPrincess 10
That's true, I'm not the best at reading or feeling emotions through posts so my assumption is that the author expects for a little bit of sympathy. I apologize.
skyeyez9 25
Its a part of their weekly special to boost sales. A Bucket of chicken plus the choice of bedding one of the cooks for $19.95.
lotrgeek 10
Been there, done that... Gotta hate being controlled by my pussy ;)
joopjoop 19
:0 controlled by pussy?! you're a DOG!!