Today, I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
Today, my mom and I were escorted out of the KFC because my mom tried to mug and pick a fight with another customer. FML
Today, I was working as a host at a pasta diner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said, "That's my mom." FML
Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML
Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently, my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she's embarrassed of my real brother. FML
Today, my mum came to visit me in the country where I'm studying. We went out, and when she saw a dude eating something she liked the look of, she made me run after him to ask where he bought it. The guy was my ex. FML
Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML
Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML
Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
YDI for eating at KFC, and for thinking "your mom" jokes still hold any comedic value.
rosy_fml 0
You could've just ended with "His mom was in town visiting for the weekend". Don't tell us what to do.
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Comments (69)
allmidnighteyes 11
YDI for eating at KFC, and for thinking "your mom" jokes still hold any comedic value.
allmidnighteyes 11
"I Joke like that all the time?" That doesn't make it funny =p
The_Pleb 0
Ill let you finish midnight eyes, but i personally still find "your mom" jokes funny. So tell yo mom that she still owes me for last night. Thankyou come again
Veritas143 0
I love KFC..which reminds me I haven't eaten there in forever! I think it's time for an entire bucket of Original Kentucky Fried Chicken!
myballs 0
So you bought into that PETA crap? I don't like KFC, but **** are you a tool.
aero_fml 0
Dude your mom jokes aren't funny but they're great to bust someone's balls. This is awesome, but automatic YDI for saying 'Guess who'.
DameGreyWulf 1
KFC is great, if you get a nice one. As for the "your mom" jokes - nicely placed they can be hilarious. The key to any good joke is good timing. However, OP fails because even if she wasn't there, that wouldn't even be remotely funny. Especially in a KFC. Though I have to wonder why the room mate would ask who he was there with. What, people can't eat alone anymore?
analo_fml 8
your mom.
WTFsGoingOn 0
My mom would not have been offended. And the fact that the roommate's mom WAS there is what really made the joke worthwhile anyhow. Imagine how lame it would have been otherwise.
myhairynutsack 0
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Taolan 23
*jeff foxworthy voice* You might be a fatty if... (see above)
DivineGarden 0
That's a twix moment.
Liiiiiiiiike 15
Agreed. If you were eating at Popeyes then it's a whole different story but KFC man. KENTUCKY FRIED CRAP
rosy_fml 0
You could've just ended with "His mom was in town visiting for the weekend". Don't tell us what to do.
xladylarienx 18
Wait - the way I read that was that OP's mom was sitting there... Now I'm confused! Dammit, just tell us whose mom it was and don't have us guessing!! :P Oh and yeah, you're a douche.
_THE_MASTER_ 0
thank you #2! OP, that format is very old. go to MLIA with that shit.
allmidnighteyes 11
Why was _THE_MASTER_'s comment moderated? I remember it only saying that the OP should take his way of wording the FML to MLIA. Nothing against the rules, nothing offensive that warranted moderation. Have those 4 letters become the Voldemort of FML? "Site that must not be named" oh noes, baddd ju-ju
alexandraa_fml 0
A 'sexy' date?.. :/
Preston_Pope 0
yeaahh.....something peculiar about the words "sexy date" ?
polico_wolf 0
mine?
LikeOhMahGoose 0
I agree
goldy18 0
lololololololololol, karma's a bitch, huh?
perdix 31
A woman who eats at KFC is disgusted by the prospect of being with you? You must be disgusting. Tell her where you want to put your face, and you like that area to be Extra Crispy. She'll change her mind ;)
capslockisgood 19
Never stop commenting.
damiksta 2
ROFL #9 but yeah that kind of crappy .1 because u were eating kfc .2 because ure still using your mum jokes
DynamicDave 11
Um...mine? No wait, yours! No. Ah, crap I give up. Tell me.
ColdGold 6
did you puke?
xEvAnEsCeNcEx 0
hmmm. i hope u were joking?