Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Today, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, I was walking home from the gym. An old man in his car rolled down the window and drove slowly next to me. He pulled out a camera, took a picture of me and said, "It's gonna be a fun night!" and then drove off. FML
Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
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Top comments
KikuHonda 3
o__________o what a creep.
FreddyLunch 0
You just got Fritzel'd
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Comments (236)
FreddyLunch 0
You just got Fritzel'd
The_Disturbed 5
#1 - Hahaha win. OP - That's just wrong...really, really wrong. Gay paedophiles. Not fun O_o
the_deuce 0
LMFAO Fritzel'd though?? HAHA sounds like herbert the pervert!! DISGUSTINGGGGG. lls i feel bad for you.
EugenicMedic 0
HAWTNESS
Pamina128 0
That's really not funny #1. Fritzel was sick.
ReasonsToFly 0
That's really not funny #44. Fritzel was sick!
alwaysalexis 0
ugh, definitely. while reading the book on him, more then once i felt i had to throwup.
ILIEKGIRLS 5
LOL.
spoo 24
I REALLY hope you called the cops... Coming out so sick like that suggests hes acted on the thoughts enough to not think them that unusual.
Duckasaurus 0
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. PUT THE ******* LOTION IN THE BASKET.
alex_vik 1
Damnit, I was gonna make a Fritzel joke but the first person beat me.
slasher29 0
so were many but wouldn't someone else hear that?
MCofpwnage 0
(It's spelled Fritzl.)
eshploded 0
a case where some crazy austrian dude locked his daughter in his basement for 24 years and had a bunch of kids with her.
lolbulla 0
you should've told him he's old
silentmusic 0
HAHAHA! looks like you got a stalker~u should feel proud! i feel sorry for you. id be scared if that happened to me
antonioohama 0
That's not really funny #59. Fritzel was sick!
daniisme 0
28- more like Chester the molesterer
davidmechaly 0
#79 is god
sneakers9394 0
woah...creepy
tschell 0
I'm staying away from north Dakota...
gabobi91 19
His name was Fritzl, there was no E in it.
SupraHippo 6
Yes. I thought I was the only one who read that book.
KikuHonda 3
o__________o what a creep.
LoZelda123 20
yup you have the perfect reaction to this one
fmh123 0
Tell him he is a old creepy bum and punch him in the nuts and say you think im cute now
Superadie 0
Haha! freaky Grandpa, the best friend of psycho Grandma! Should have answered "And I would love to kick you in the nuts so you will learn some respect" :D
DiscountKing 0
Story of my life.
moonlight_daze 8
I know, right?
pinkp909 8
ahahahahahahaha winnnn
BioProject 0
Hot Edit: #1, buried
miss_madison 10
BioProject: IT'S L!!!!!!!! Oh my god!! (I'm actually watching Deathnote right now.) sorry. I'm a little bit of a fan girl when it comes to L.
Entracte 0
Look for him on watchdog.
duct_tape_zombie 0
I want to be like that dude when I'm old!!! xD
yellowaholic 25
You want to be creepy?
kayleighcontrol 7
******* hell. What a weirdo. Should've roundhouse kicked him in the head.
lancerevo1994 0
Or he could have yelled "FALCON PUNCH!" and socked him in the stomach.
MelLuvsYuhhh 8
Like Chuck Norris c:
ZiivaZephyr 6
Road House!
ZiivaZephyr 6
Road House!
nike1 0
LOL! That must have been a joke dude? Haha.