Today, I spent 5 hours organizing my porn collection on my computer. What the hell am I doing with my life? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
#ForeverAlone
Today, I realized the closest thing I have to a love life is organizing my porn folder by category. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Hyperfocused
Today, I set out to organize my media files over several old hard drives, but I got so engrossed in creating intricate folders and subfolders that I forgot what I was organizing in the first place. My computer is now a labyrinth of folders titled "Stuff," "Things," and "What is this even?" FML
Old school cool
Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML
****** addict
Today, trying not to watch porn, I started looking for a group workout program, then tried to create images that resembled my wife, then ended up watching porn. FML
Getting some action
Today, I took a trip to the library's public computer section to get some important work done. After a bit of work, I went to stretch only to see that the man next to me was watching some adult films on his computer and discreetly touching himself. I still had 58 minutes of computer time left. FML
If I could turn back time…
Today, I got caught checking out my porn collection while working. The embarrassment is compounded by the fact that I work from home, and I only flashed the folder on screen, but it was enough for coworkers to notice and now call me "King Dong". FML
Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML
Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML
Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML
Top comments
abNormal62 23
Everyone needs a hobby... Don't beat yourself up over it!
Ducklord21 14
He is obviously consumed if it took 5 hours...
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Comments (70)
SBurrke 11
I see nothing wrong here. It's ok to be into **** a little more than most people. Just make sure it doesn't consume you.
AnAnorexicAsian 8
And make sure you're not married, at least.
kimg0885 23
I think the whole point to this FML is that **** DOES consume ops life. Enough to the point that it takes a workday to organize
SweetasCandy0609 28
#2 There is nothing wrong with watching **** when you are married, you could actually use it as four play with your spouse.
magicmastar2 1
I over how this is stated "make sure you aren't married" like its some medical condition you may not be aware of
TomeDr 25
Five hours to organize is not "a LITTLE ****".
newzealand 28
#27 "fore play".. bad grammar is one thing.. This though, grinds my gears.
xx000o 27
Stay in the theme of the post; it jerks your gear.
sv1dmc12 7
If he organized it for FIVE HOURS, I think he's already ******* consumed man..
originaljosh 11
I dont know man... they say touching yourself to much stops growth. What am i kidding everybody watches ****
kimg0885 23
So either you have so much **** that it takes you five hours to go through it all or ,you are just that bad at alphabetizing. Either way for shame.
Adeptus_Astartes 22
I wouldn't be surprised if he had an entire drive dedicated to ****.
abNormal62 23
Hard drive? Or floppy disk?
blackonblight 33
Alphabetizing? Instead of categorizing? I admit I'm using sims2 downloads for my analogous organizational methods, but how the hell do you find things in a mass of thousands upon thousands of files if the folders aren't categorized with some definite identifying factors such as site of origin?
Adeptus_Astartes 22
@19 I like how we were both thumbed down for no reason.
abNormal62 23
Everyone needs a hobby... Don't beat yourself up over it!
SNevada7 4
Hahahah.. I see what you did there ?
SweetasCandy0609 28
#8 If you saw what #4 did then why did you have a question mark at the end of of your comment? Are you sure you saw what he did?
johntrollson 11
i think he "beat" himself more then necessary.
Soninuva 41
Or off.
Ducklord21 14
He is obviously consumed if it took 5 hours...
Peeep 17
Its only bad if you organized it by **** star rather than by genre.
doctorhook86 25
#7: I was always a fan of multiple tag indexing, that way I don't have to save the same video twice to have it in both the "Cute freckled redheads" and "Lesbian groupsex" folders. I may have downloaded it twice anyway.
Chiishinchu 13
Well, I guess you needed something to do...
BlindlyWandering 17
or some ONE to do.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
Nothing wrong being organized
aruden 25
Sounds like your problem is a hand full
gloaiza 3
best comment so far!
micassures_fml 19
at least you realize it. Time to react ! **** can aldo be a source of severe addiction ! My ex Bf was extremely addicted, ans he was nervous ans angry and antsy when he spent too much time without watching. It was really really sad :( Get a grip on your life OP!!
dblogic 19
Agreed, although seems like he's got a grip on something else...
jtgamenut 11
You guys must not know the true effects of what **** does to mind. and no this isn't some Christian thing. It's a human nature thing. It makes you look at women and generalize them as sex toys
micassures_fml 19
So true. Unfortunately people are educated by **** today. Many don't even know how to make love, and only **** hard. And we women are supposed to enjoy it. ..
Dave_Davington 34
I know, right? Just like all of those Schwarzenegger movies made everyone look at buff Austrian guys as mere objects of our entertainment. It's positively sickening.
SweetasCandy0609 28
#13 I'm sorry to disappoint you but just about everything these days is used to as you said "generalize us as sex toys" for example, music, movies, tv shows and even commercials, as well as our clothes, make-up etc.... and it's not just women that are "generalized" as "sex toys" but men are to it goes both ways. So in your opinion because **** "generalizes us sex toys" OP or anybody else shouldn't watch ****? but does that also mean that people shouldn't watch TV or movies or listen to music since they could all have the same effect?
RainEliseWolf 16
#33 Yes there is sexual references in just about everything these days, but **** is a lot different in certain aspects. It can ruin relationships and good people. It is also an industry that supports prostitutes and such. Also, just because lots of other entertainment has sexual references doesn't mean it's as bad as pornography. Pornography has many different categories, and a huge majority of them are very degrading to women. Great that you and your husband are mutual with it and enjoy it but not everyone is ok with it.
goaticus456 2
#33 why don't you try looking up the phenomena called ****-induced erectile dysfunction that's becoming more and more popular amongst young men in their 20's? Or maybe do some light reading on how **** re-wires the brain from our natural state of pair-bonding to a promiscuous state of sexual partner seeking? Are you even half as educated as you should be on the matter to be justifiably flapping your ignorant gums about it? Why don't you go visit the sub-reddit "no fap" and read some of the personal accounts of how **** has severely hindered some young men's sexual and relationship lives and how they are seeking help to eliminate this burden from their lives? You'll probably just have another ignorant and uneducated come back to why we should all watch **** because voyeurism and objectification are "healthy".
SweetasCandy0609 28
#39 First of all I didn't say that my husband and I watch ****, I was actually referring to how some people like to use it as four play however we do not, #41 I am very aware of how it causes problems for people and I not once ever said said that music and tv were worse than **** because I know that it is not. I was just trying to say that **** is not the only thing that degrades women so #41 I don't need you trying to tell me that I'm not educated enough to open my mouth, because all it's doing in my opinion is making you look ignorant jerk because you don't know me at all to know what I do and don't know and you obviously misunderstood what I was trying to get across or maybe it just came across the wrong way and if that's the case then at least I know how to admit my mistake.
BoundBySpace 19
There is all types of ****. I am more into making love. I have seen some very intimate **** out there. I do see how it makes guys look at girls like toys. Not only does it affect the guys but also the girls. I know some girls my age who just love to go hard like ****. I've also heard a lot about girls never knowing what a ****** feels like.. if you can't at least make a girl finish once you need to start reading or something. it's not cool to finish firsr, but that's another topic.
chickypie1987 23
Some women like it that way
jtgamenut 11
Again it's fore, not four, unless you plan on having a FOURsome? Which is far from the same thing. But thank you showing us all your education, again.
pizzafrommars 14
Cuz, ya know. There're no penises in **** or anything.
SweetasCandy0609 28
oh I'm sorry #69 that my phone keeps auto correcting me when I'm trying say fore play and I'm sorry that I didn't catch it in enough time, I'm sure that you haven't ever been accidentally auto corrected before.
dblogic 19
#13...Thank you for making that comment!
alanharvey15 13
since when I don't look at them as sex toys