Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
Today, my guy finally got his brother out of their house so we could try and get busy. It was going okay when he tried to put on a condom. It got soft. We messed around a little longer tried again. Then a third time. I finally just started to get dressed and he took me to work. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was OK, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I'd had a crush on for a long time. When I asked if he was having trouble putting it in, he answered that he was fully in. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my new boyfriend, well… penetration anyway. Turns out, he has premature ejaculation, and no idea how bad at sex he is. He actually thought he did a good job by lasting 20 seconds. He was done after 4 thrusts and was somehow confused. I didn't orgasm either. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
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Top comments
Sabraynay 10
He was probably making sure the condom was on properly. Better to be safe than sorry!
leadman1989 16
In the defense of stupid men everywhere... They can be pretty slippery.
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Comments (151)
Sabraynay 10
He was probably making sure the condom was on properly. Better to be safe than sorry!
rexgar2000 10
at least you had sex with him, look at the bright side lol fyl
22cute 17
I'm pretty sure she's saying that side wasn't very bright. Hello!
EnEl_Infierno 15
Well at least be sure you disposed of it properly Op, you don't want kids going around thinking their soggy ballons.
i_iz_awesome 0
And you just sat there watching him put it on and not help? Would of made things more fun ;)
indielove 13
Was there any foreplay?
stro88 6
Well you shouldn't have made it seem like a quicky. Cuz he might have taken his time ahaha.
liggity 1
First time anticipation jitters. I'm sure it'll be better next time. You could take it as a compliment because he must think your really hot for him to go so fast.
JohnBoyFsYL 10
Exactly 59, I'm sure the guy didn't plan for that to happen either. Quit whining, give it 30 minutes, go again. Simples.
ElmoStoleMyLook 1
You should stop complaining just because YOU got your hopes up way too high! Besides it's not easy the first time with anyone
Kyzahhh 7
Be thankful he got his pants off ,condom on, and inside you, would you rather the only reason he took his pants off to be that he blew his load in them
DaySetsFire 2
He set your standards low so next Time he can impress you if there is a next time :O
Kyzahhh 7
did you let him wear his chain an turtle neck sweater?
cooterpie 11
I think I love you.
ambs12345 0
Lol
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
*offers 85 points for the reference* that good? best 30 seconds of my life.
maggiemae14 2
hahaha.
tittymagic 0
In the song, was that Adam samberg or the other guy? Sorry, I blanket out on his name
Kyzahhh 7
She put a bag on my head.... Doesn't matter had sex!
leadman1989 16
In the defense of stupid men everywhere... They can be pretty slippery.
knights95 9
That's why I don't like public parks
Michael_92 20
But it only took him 20 seconds to put it on....
tremayle 0
well maybe your that good lol
construction 7
Doubt it
hotaro15 3
I second that
jayer_hooo 0
rofl that's what I was about 2 say
BeefyMeaty 8
#3 haha funny... Made me laugh
Steven696 6
First timer for sure, sorry OP guess you've got to get him use to it :P
Senior29 8
were u attempting 2 beat the "worlds youngest dad"?
XxFilthyxDubxX 1
How old is the worlds oldest dad?
XxFilthyxDubxX 1
Lol whoops I mean the worlds youngest dad
Senior29 8
13
Alleged_Cranium 7
People want everything faster these days. Now you have more time for other things, like sending FMLs.
btstig 11
Nice mustache.
jane_marie 12
Help him with the condom?
btstig 11
Should have knocked that first one out the way for him. Then rocked his world.
DjeePee 25
I hope you and he remembered that he still got his tongue and hands to pleasure you. Heck, you could even have a round two. If he simply stopped after he came, then he hasn't showed much respect for you, has he?
Alex94xela 0
Lol ya Op should have had him eat her out
ReynshineCutting 10
A guy can only go so long after before he loses it. It doesn't have anything to do with respect.
heartless_fml 6
That really depends on the guy.
KiMMieBeAr17 0
It doesn't have to do with respect..
justanotherhuman 21
Granted we don't know all of the extenuating circumstances, but based on 11's post... the disrespect is not about his duration, it's about his consideration AFTER-the-fact. If after ****** it's game-over, then yes, that is actually disrespecting his lover in the sense that he holds no consideration regarding what the experience was for her. Within context of defined parameters, 11's post was accurate.
Mini_Pedobear 0
maybe you should help hm get it on...with your mouth..
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Yeah, and make him cum even faster.