Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
visage 0
how the hell do you know what good is? just be happy someone spent the money to feed your dumb ass, and spent the time to **** you.
jchansfan 0
YOU TOOK A CHICKEN INTO THE BEDROOM!?! o_O'
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Comments (115)
visage 0
how the hell do you know what good is? just be happy someone spent the money to feed your dumb ass, and spent the time to **** you.
White667 0
The first time with a new partner usually isn't too great, the first time at all usually sucks completely. You're not used to each others bodies yet, dunno what each person likes and dislikes, so forth. Also, chicken >IS< good.
Carnivwhorus 0
So you ****** the chicken too?
jpwdragon 0
lol 90
B4SK3TB4IL 0
yea if ur a virgin u wouldn't know wut "good" is
gingerrrr88 11
Yeah i thought she was talking about having sex with the chicken too… lol
sethu9211 3
Ha ha ha..
Gregory_House_fml 0
Exactly, and if you are or were a virgin how the **** would you know what "good" is?
extradorkyloser 4
Yeaahhh, usually people don't find their first time to be very excellent. Don't think so negatively. At this rate, you'll never enjoy it.
brivielle 15
#1 u sound lonely
capnbzarr 43
Yikes, that was some over-the-top hostility, even for an anonymous internet comment.
Butcher_1419 0
is that the name of a sex toy, like the rabbit?
cellycrunk 16
#2 lmao you just made my day!
FML_FYL_88 0
Omg, people on here just love picking fights huh? that sucks hun, my first time was crappy too, don't get down though, it can only get better!!
jchansfan 0
No, it can always get worse too.
kravitzz1990 0
ur first wont be good, but it does get better once u both get experience and fin out what eachother like.. dont be discouraged, n dont make ur firsy time ruin the next time jus put it behind you!! :D
jchansfan 0
YOU TOOK A CHICKEN INTO THE BEDROOM!?! o_O'
Rene2shae 0
ahaha this made me lol!
angryseatroll 5
Well the first time can often bring pain and discomfort, and it could have been his first time. Don't be so judgemental.
wrigglezeus 0
that's a little harsh to bitch about your first time on here. how do you know what good is without experience. there is talking about it and actually experiencing it. your first time is going to be harsh. no need to be a bitch about it after someone actually tool the time for you.
Big_Nick 0
if it was me bitch we'd **** first then I'd take your ***** hoe ass for the dollar menu at mcdonalds with a two item limit
Zakkie_1987 2
you talk big, but like most of the butt ugly disgraceful pathetic attempts of men on here, you would be lucky to have ANYONE who actually saved themselves for you, or who actually wanted to be around an arsehole like you even if it's only for the 35 seconds before you prematurely ejaculate. Also, the dollar menu? Obviously because you are so broke and social services refuse to pay your drug ****** pitiful existence any longer. Perhaps beg for a job while your there, I mean why not, you'll be begging her to come back the second she finds someone decent.
losergrayy123 0
wow ummm u just made yourself sound like a total ass...
losergrayy123 0
imean the guys whos post were commenting on
meso222 8
First of all yes she probably shouldve been more gratefull for the dinner, but to talk to or about a woman like that is disgusting. Might just be that i would have gotten the belt from my grandfather for sayin something like that but in any case... Man badge revoked, grow up and apply again at a later date. And i just want to point out to everyone, not all white guys talk like that.
brivielle 15
#130 touche
elgordito_fml 0
yea true!!!
agamid 1
there are probably only 1 in 10 people (most likely even less) who actually have a positive experience on their first time.