Today, my husband sweetly asked me, "You know what I'd really like to do if I had an extra $4,000?" Expecting a romantic answer, I asked what. He said, "I'd get you a tummy tuck." He still can't figure out what he said wrong. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband was looking at a bariatric surgery website and asked him what he was reading. He said, "Oh, your anniversary gift. Surprise!" He wasn't kidding. He got mad when I politely declined his gift, then angrily said "You know, it really hurts when you don't like the things I get you." FML
Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid, and my husband said, "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML
Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML
Today, my husband told me he wants a $600 birthday gift. He doesn't understand why I said that wasn't happening, and is now mad at me. Not only can we not afford that, he only spent less than $10 on my birthday gift last month. FML
Today, my wife asked when I was going back to the gym because I am developing a belly, which she finds disgusting. I've just had surgery on my thigh, which was her fault for asking, “What’s this thing do?” while grabbing the handle to the jack holding up my car, dropping the car on my leg. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML
Today, I told my husband that I was going to get a swimsuit from the Victoria's Secret catalog. He replied, "Are you going to get the body to go with it?" FML
Today, I had the privilege of looking into my husband's eyes and uttering one of the sexiest phrases in the English language, "I need a suppository." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TurtleSmile 14
Tell him you'd like to spend it on male hookers and chocolate.
cooterpie 11
At least he's willing to spend 4 grand on YOU. Maybe he also thinks its something you'd like.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (46)
Roevera 14
As insulting as it is, it's sweet that he's thinking of you, and wanting to spend the money on you.
Stallion91 6
Fat shit lose some weight. Make yourself attractive to him again!
SApprentice 34
28- You're very unpleasant.
Stallion91 6
And you wonder why marriages fail at an all time high rate? Pleeeasse.
htownpostman 16
It sweet that he's thinking about her excess stomach fat?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Waste of $4000 If you ask me. Just do more exercise, or sexercise, or both... and have $4k to spend too.
chipmunkofddoom 13
Tummy tucks aren't usually for excess stomach fat. They're for excess skin. Which CAN'T be gotten rid of via exercise. I also think it was sweet. You just need to understand where some men come from when they say things like that. He probably thought that it was a sincere and romantic gesture and I can see where he wouldn't understand that what he said is actually a bit insulting to a woman. Women don't even understand each other's thought processes, so how can we expect men to?
cooterpie 11
At least he's willing to spend 4 grand on YOU. Maybe he also thinks its something you'd like.
SerendipityRose 26
Tell him you'd buy him a lifetime supply of Extenze...
sectorleader 2
Bazinga
dellam 3
Love , try and save your husband 4k , use the treadmill sometime
fsanchez9x 0
It seems like you've really let yourself go
CoffeeChickBlows 13
Really? I'm not seeing any pics of the OP to make a judgment on. Who let this fucktard out of kindergarten?
etchsanity1 11
Well at least he's offering you the easy route ... Probably means you are lazy as well as fat ;)
TurtleSmile 14
Tell him you'd like to spend it on male hookers and chocolate.
emeraldisle 30
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wow! What an arse!
alissa222 15
Have you ever hinted about wanting one/ given him a reason to think you want one in the past?
etchsanity1 11
Yes she is fat... Most fat women bitch when fishing for compliments, also she probably has shown a general lazy attitude and unwillingness to work out, or she does work out and due to childbirth or some such has damage that needs repair rather than conditioning.
HeyArnold91 8
Needing a tummy tuck doesn't necessarily mean you're fat. OP may have lost weight and there was just extra skin that is hard to trim off through exercise alone.
HeyArnold91 8
Maybe he meant well, but I'd feel so insecure afterwards.
Oley 27
^^^^^^^^^^^^Umm I just wanted to say that you're very cute!!!!
SApprentice 34
"Honey, I want you to go a surgeon and have him slice off several inches of your abdominal skin and underlying fatty tissue. It'll make you sexier for me. Please?" Some people disgust me.
annie_nk 23
How do we know that was the husbands intentions for wanting to get her one? Maybe OP lost a lot of weight or she's had a few kids? The way OP worded this FML makes me think the husband didn't meantion it for selfish reasons.
SApprentice 34
23- It doesn't matter. Surgery comes with a lot of risks. A surgery like an abdominoplasty is traumatic for the body even without the normal surgery dangers. There's the general swelling and pain, as well as risks for life-threatening blood clots, hemorrhage, and permanent pain or numbness caused by damage to nerves. There's a chance of permanent disfiguration, either from badly healed scars or asymmetry in the cuts. The skin on the surface can die off, requiring more surgeries and skin grafts, and there's a risk of the inner tissues also rotting away. Massive infections, sepsis, fluid retention, seroma, hematoma, the list of possible problems is extensive. If OP wants it already then she should do whatever she wishes, but no one should ever prompt their partner to go through with a potentially deadly surgery as if what they are proposing is simple and easy. It's not.
annie_nk 23
O.o wow. I had no idea the possibilities of what could go wrong. I hope OP's husband reads your comment.
monster_tamer 11
Thank you for educating us all on just how badly a simple "tummy tuck" surgery could end up...