Today, my boyfriend had to be hospitalized to drain poison from a bad spider bite. His mom is convinced that he got it from my house and won't let him come over anymore. I suppose she's right, because guess who found a spider web under their bed today, along with 5 new spider bites? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend's mom is talking shit about me to anyone who will listen, all because I refused to stay at her house and help her with a few chores she said she would pay me for. She keeps leaving out the part where I saw dozens of bed bugs not even 5 minutes after I got there. FML
Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML
Today, my boyfriend's recently mated tarantula disappeared from her enclosure with her egg sac, so she's now somewhere in the house with between 20 and 100 babies hatching within a week. I moved out this afternoon. My boyfriend caused this, he can damn well find her before I set foot in there again. FML
Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML
Today, as part of our prank war, my girlfriend found a hairy tarantula picture and stuck it on the wall. I hadn't yet told her I'm arachnophobic, and when I saw it I passed out and hit my head hard enough to need an ambulance. She decided she's won the war and I don't get a say in the matter. FML
Today, my significant other woke at 4:30 a.m. to me crying about a spider in the bathroom. I have an intense fear of spiders; he was super nice and took care of it for me. He even walked me out to my car. I started to calm down driving to work, but when I got there what do I see on the door handle but a spider. I'm still shaking. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
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Top comments
Starfire22 5
You might want to consider cleaning your room more often...
Mirm83 0
I need to stop reading the comments. Spiderwebs can be spun overnight. The timing of the bites indicates that the spider had newly moved in. Who looks under the bed often enough to catch spiderwebs instantly? Getting rid of the web doesn't get rid of the spider, unless it's in it. Five bites does not equal five spiders. They aren't like bees, who sting and then die.
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Comments (92)
daydreamstar 7
creepy! wait, so your bf got bit 5 more times. or you? sorrry im a bit dazed >>"'. ooo man spiders *shiver*
FreddyLunch 0
I think it might of been the mother but this is an excellent example of why not to employ guessing games in your posts.
daydreamstar 7
oo ok and i like ur name X3 10. krueger rules!
catatonicsleep 17
i think she means she found a spiders web under her bed and she had been bitten 5 times, that's why the mother was right that her bf was getting bitten at her house..
daydreamstar 7
ahh ok ^^ ty
enormouselephant 15
How bad does someone's house have to be for another person to know their kids get bitten there?
bluerhhajfk 17
Man, if her boyfriend got hospitalized from one bite, imagine five! Either that or her boyfriend was a wimp.
kujo7 0
creepy:))
MissyWissyKach 0
WHO?!?!
H4H 15
The **** is going on here
Starfire22 5
You might want to consider cleaning your room more often...
MagnoliaFrog 0
it's funny your pic looks like a spider
ShorTiE4LyFe 0
that's a butterfly...
kyliebear 15
Flying Spider! :)
itouchguy360 3
gross
Mr_26 0
your boyfriend wouldn't happened to be named Peter Parker by any chance?
Xrandomkrisx 7
Lol! Maybe he is. She caused Him to be spider-man!
PandaPandaPandaX 0
maybe spend less time in bed with your boyfriend and this won't happen ;P
CSRozell 4
FYL #6
TimeDisposalEngi 14
^LOL
HamsteronA 0
clean your room dude and don't store food under your bed
grshpr76 0
spiders arent carrion eaters... they wouldnt go for food thats just randomly lying about. its not like we're talking about large tarantulas you can feed stew meat to. we're talking a "true spider" that is likely living off various other household pests like the wayward ant, fruit fly and whatnot.
IronMagnus 0
And what do ants and fruit flys feed on?
safirestar09 0
Fruit flies feed off of fruit, obviously. And ants don't always come in a home after food. Occasionally they'll be carried in by a person who doesn't realize there's an ant crawling on them, or they'll come in randomly.
jcowsert2 5
I don't think a spider would show up bc of one random spider carried in tho... clean your room OP
thepro 0
look again these sneaky bastards seem to always have more of their kin around
Liddo_Me_12 0
lol kno huh!!! thts y I'm afraid of my garage!!
GanjAxZermA 0
For one part you deserved it because you won't clean your room. but another part is ouch.. hopefully your boyfriend Is ok :/
MissyWissyKach 0
under my bed i have tons of spider webs, and i have no spider bites, who said the spiders bit you?