Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
Ninja skills
Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML
Toot toot
Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML
Change it!
Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML
A tale as old as time
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML
Rough
Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML
Top comments
emerluvsu 6
That's the most original fml I've ever heard.
123zc1 3
Omg I almost died laughing
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Comments (571)
longhorns1050 3
Still counts!
structuredchaoz 4
At least it will hurt less the first time
miZscrZee 0
OMGSH. u should go see a doctor..
corrinaswan 0
Why
tubagal 0
Id like to know why'd you get kicked so hard in the crotch in the first place…
rarememory 7
Least you have an interesting story to tell the girls and guys when you get older lol everyone will have the usual missionary and you'll have the shoe :)
Flamedude101 4
If there was penetration i think you can sue that guy for rape I mean come on he took virginity in the last way you wouldve wanted it
perdix 31
What kind of shoe was it? A Buster Hymen? You can only lose your virginity when a penis penetrates your ******. Sorry that you still are stuck with your v-card and the only attention your **** is getting is kicks. Next time, I hope you get your kicks figuratively.
angel1234567 10
Haha lol buster hymen
SamanthaSaurus 13
Doesn't matter had sex.
brookwick 0
The lonely island. **** yes .
cupcakemonster12 0
Lol i love lonely island!
Kolle 0
Dont see the fml in this. If u popped it, u techniqually got laid. Good work!
loserman67 36
You took a kick to the **** or a boot to the poot or a swat to the twat or a smack to the crack or a bash to the gash. Sounds like a perverted Dr. Suess poem