Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
Ninja skills
Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML
Toot toot
Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML
Change it!
Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML
A tale as old as time
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML
Rough
Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML
Top comments
emerluvsu 6
That's the most original fml I've ever heard.
123zc1 3
Omg I almost died laughing
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Comments (571)
annagilbert 6
um OUCH!!! if that popped your cherry, that must have hurt like a bitch!
Killerturtle 11
Something similar happen to me once. It burned like hell down there! FYL
RayTorosFro 0
You didn't love your virginity, people pop their cherry all the time doing non sexual stuff (gymnastics, ballet, being kicked in the crotch) you're still a virgin and will remain one until you **** a guy
cetlawizard 15
A hymen is not a cherry. Popping a cherry is a figure of speech, not a literal term. :)
ZoeElizabeth 0
Honestly? Don't be a smart a$$.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Lots of women break their hymens by doing non-sexual things, but that doesn't count as losing your virginity. There has to be sexual intercourse. You're still a virgin.
marod02 0
WOW well at least you have a funny story to tell people when they ask when and how you lost it
9anonymous 0
Impossible from a kick!
slimmathers123 10
that doesnt count
lolwtfwasthat 0
Wish I could've done it...
FlyingLazerWALRU 0
Wow. That's...different. Never heard about this happening.
637R4YP3D 5
It must have been a small foot if it got all up in ya like that.