flopsy
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
A tale as old as time
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
:((
Brisbane, Australia 🌶️ Spicy
No good
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
fucksake
Seri Kembangan, Malaysia 🌶️ Spicy
Almost there
Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML
EliseV
Chino Hills, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
virgin
🌶️ Spicy
Not now!
Today, I was excited because tomorrow I was going to lose my virginity. I just used the bathroom; I got my period. FML
unsatisfied
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU
Los Angeles, United States 🌶️ Spicy
So close…
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Nightshade823
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Just stop
Today, I finally lost my virginity. I also found out the side effects of my antidepressants: It's hard for me to get it up, and I can't orgasm. When I finally got it up, I went so long, it ended with her saying, "Yeah, you should stop now, I'm numb." FML
mavrick127
Atlanta, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
NotALuckyGuy
Columbus, United States
Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML
Top comments
Emmy_m92 0
Apparently, you couldn't rise to the occasion.
hondabikez 2
it normal! it happens!
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Comments (245)
hondabikez 2
it normal! it happens!
nhuda 4
wait I don't get it what does op mean??
DocBastard 40
Other *******
KiddNYC1O 22
Ostrich Porno
beautiful_disast_fml 2
Orange penis
moosemonkey1000 6
octagonal sack
KiddNYC1O 22
Fail, 75. Might as well had put "c-c-c-combo breaker".
cul8r 4
Optimus Prime.
ceejster 0
ongoing ****!
ruby84 1
overly possessive
The_Creeper_fml 8
Oscillating Penis.
Efeks 0
#87 Win .
mountneer 0
opossum puncher
xshadyshadow 0
Orgasmic Potato.
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Obscured Periscope
nhuda 4
thanks u guys those were awesome answers!! (*sarcasm tone*)
youngclench 0
Onlooking penguins?
tacobird123 7
Tacos Rule. am I moderated yet?
mamamiaaa_fml 12
oooh ooooh I want to do one. uhhh ummmm ahhhh eeekkkk blurp Uhhhh ahem ugh uhhh ummm organic pussy!!! I really hope someone hasn't said this. wouldn't it be funny if the person was asking what the OP meant by cant get it up.
chewbacca69 0
octo pussy
mshooter 0
original poster
kiraaamaeee 0
^ ruined the game :(
unclepester 0
but we can still play orangutan poop!
beastette1230 0
orgasmic pimp
ruby84 1
obese person
atacker49 0
orgasmic penis
Mendoza13 0
onion pussi
momony_fml 0
OHHH, PUSSY!!
MetroidSlayer01 8
that's enough
Falcon_My_Life 0
Anal excretion.
Gravitex 0
opium power
TheCurlyTheory 0
That is what she meant , sweetie . You all fail .
cupcakemann95 7
Octagona Puss
Skywalka911 0
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER.
x_the_lancer_x 13
Wow 56... All I can say is that you are way too young for this app, unless you are trolling. Which is also a great possibility. Either way, it really bugs me that such uneducated people are on this app... But hey, it's the Internet and nobody can really do much about it without pissing people off so... Yeah. Try waiting awhile and become more educated on "mature" topics, and then come back? Anyway, I am going to just leave you alone, and stop "feeding the troll" because I am most likely doing that.
PrinterKing 13
****** planner
TrippingOnAcid 29
#252 Correct me if I'm wrong but to my knowledge being unfamiliar with the term "OP" does not constitute a lack of education on "mature topics". Go **** yourself.
davidrios86 0
looks like someone has stage fright next time have her give u a Australian kiss it like a French kiss except down under
etanman 5
HAHA down under nice
DivineGarden 0
"I come from a land down under" ~Men at work
amayaa_fml 7
how long have you been waiting to use that one?
emmi23 0
dude im n aussie nd thats mi joke nd im a giod aussie kisser ;)
SquishFish 15
nd ur a bd aussi spller
casagrand 0
i feel bad for ya dude
Emmy_m92 0
Apparently, you couldn't rise to the occasion.
gamer_fur_life 0
haaaaha.
BloodyHeel 8
Yes, we are aware.
_krispy 0
ba-dam-chh!
ebs_fml 0
lol.
GreggHutch 0
WIN
TheDrifter 24
Look on the bright side op. That emergency condom you've carried for years will still be there tomorrow.
sarah48_fml 0
lol this ^
starile 20
Only, it'll be expired, awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. OP just can't win, can he?
labiscuit 15
Yes!
mola_mola 3
@144, that's what she said ;)
bunnixbrutality 5
in this case no cus he couldnt even get it it upp
ALDJ 4
170... that's what she didn't say
Fishfanatic 7
Don't worry OP, first time nerves are very common indeed and will tend to happen if you constantly worry about how you're going to perform when the time comes. I know everyone say's relax, and it's a cliche but it is a true one. Don't take it too seriously, and please don't think that it has to be like any **** film you may have watched, because real life sex is really not like that for the most part . They aren't called actors for nothing ( for all that the penetration is real ) . Just have fun and calm down.
starile 20
Yes, his sexual partner would help him out by saying, "Calm down, OP. Calm down! JUST CALM THE **** DOWN!!"
Vozz 0
I'm so very tired of you starile.
mama2b3 20
lol ops user name lol
Emmy_The_Great 2
I was thinking that hahahaha.
ninjapiratejesus_fml 20
Is it weird that the first thing that came to mind was, "That would make a great name for a rabbit"?
KB_Duzit 0
lmao
KiddNYC1O 22
Damn, mate! Ya ol' fart!
KiddNYC1O 22
Damn? I meant crikey.
idkmyusername 0
*Over* not I've x)
TrueColours 9
First-night failure. It happens.