Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
Ninja skills
Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML
Toot toot
Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML
Change it!
Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML
A tale as old as time
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML
Rough
Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML
Top comments
emerluvsu 6
That's the most original fml I've ever heard.
123zc1 3
Omg I almost died laughing
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Comments (571)
zombicidal 11
shoe rape Americas number one unknown issue
rallets 23
epic essay arguments are epic
castrosabeast 7
EWWWWW!
L3g4lPl4typus 0
is it going to call you in the morning and be nice?
skippyjj1 0
Nike..just do it
gymnstemily92 0
Wow
julia_turtle 4
Not to get technical but there's a difference between breaking your hymen and having sex for the first time. You're still a virgin.
xcrashxloved 0
Look at it this way... your first time for actual sex will be all pleasure and no pain. a bike accident popped my cherry, so my first time having sex was ******* amazing haha
bubo_fml 11
Your post is a "shoe in" for an FML fave!
bubo_fml 11
Horse shoe?
GrammaticalNazi 2
This is what I imagine the 'rough sex' portion of **** websites are like. This seems pretty rough.