Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
Ninja skills
Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML
Toot toot
Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML
Change it!
Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML
A tale as old as time
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML
Rough
Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML
Top comments
emerluvsu 6
That's the most original fml I've ever heard.
123zc1 3
Omg I almost died laughing
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Comments (571)
totalkaos 3
Yep...FYL...thats such a waste of a good cherry...
9895002 0
Bet you loved it.
ashed95 1
You are so gross.
capnbzarr 43
You may have ruptured your hymen, but unless the shoe actually entered your ******, you're still a virgin.
alpaquette91 9
Unless your a freak that is turned on by shoes.... but I'll agree with 56
KaanTech 0
Well actually you all wrong :D Virginity is lost by females if their girly wall (i dont know what name it is in english, a cellular skin or wall that protects her from incoming sperm but can be destroyed easily even with a finger) is gone. Help me some1 i lack vocablary about this topic, DocBastard give me some assistance would ya ?
lysx84 24
Uhm, unless the shoe was a penis she's still a virgin. Sticking things up there doesn't mean you've lost your virginity, sticking a penis up there does.
KaanTech 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I m saying that (btw thank you for word) if your hymen is NOT intact, you have lost your virginity. In anyother case no matter what you have done you are not lost your virginity.
KaanTech 0
Yea Seriusly yea
KaanTech 0
Btw 137 you failed good up there
Cinn_fml 23
#181 - Doc won't give you assistance for that post. A virgin is someone who hasn't had sex. It does not matter whether or not her hymen is in tact. I don't get why some people view that as the losing of one's virginity, no, you are still a virgin if you break it without having sex.
jabee8 0
More like, psychologically and sexually, she is still a virgin until her first time having sex. openning the area and ripping the hymen is one thing, having sex with someone, want it or not, is another..
KaanTech 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
157 dont try to convience me no just tell me right thing, JUST PLEASE COME UP WITH FACTS NOT WHAT DO YOU THINK, you girls all lack great logic and act with your senses But not me no, im pure logical and you cant just change what DO I KNOW with WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK. I m asking you to accept the facts not m what do i think or what i feel It is about what is Correct what is not, it wont be about what do you feel what do you think. And please dont try to lecture me about 'then what about ******* human beings, indivitality or someany nonsense hormonel *****!
KaanTech 0
Individuality*
blinkingstarlet 15
you're a douchebag.
Grimmerie 31
and an idiot.
mk58 31
KaanTech, no one knows what you just tried to express in that last post. I think you should just shut your mouth, since nothing of importance has decided to come out.
cetlawizard 15
Medically speaking, virginity is ONLY lost by the act of sexual intercourse (penis entering the ******), just as some women are even born without what would be considered a "hymen" they too are also virgins until they have sexual intercourse. I'm not sure where you got your so-called "facts" but I KNOW your idea of truth in these matters is completely wrong. If you don't believe then ask a gynecologist & read an actual medical book about it so you don't misinform someone else as you obviously were. :)
I_Hate_Tpyos 0
252- It's hard to accept "facts" from someone who can't even speak English properly enough to get his point across. And who is sexist, which shows your ignorance.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
The fact that he can't speak English too well doesn't matter. He is completely wrong, but I doubt you will convince him otherwise, because if you look at his profile you'll see that he's Turkish. Anyone who's been there knows how relevant that is. Their values and beliefs are very different, especially in the eastern parts. Yes, many of them are not based on facts, but people just don't care.
anongrl 2
250- honey, the definition of a virgin is someone who has not had sex. Your hymen can break without sex. I've had sex, but my hymen did not break. So are you saying I'm still a virgin? If you are, your an idiot. There is no logic in your argument. But, be my guest, keep looking like a fool. Your comments will be buried anyways.
anongrl 2
250- here's the link to the definition. Maybe you'll learn something- http://m.dictionary.com/d/?q=virgin&o=0&l=dir
Cinn_fml 23
#250 (KaanTech) - I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. Ok, let's take this nice and slow; FACTS: - The hymen can be broken in a number of ways (eg sport, sex etc) - A virgin is someone who hasn't had sex. Is that enough logic for you? (Also, at best, the hymen is just a 'proof of virginity', it is not actually your virginitiy!)
RedPillSucks 33
lalalady42, I think you should take the virgin win and name your baby "Jesus II", assuming you'll be having children. Although, I suppose upon birth, your hymen will break. Now if you've given birth and you STILL have an intact hymen, I think we have the makings of a new religion.
tonydizzle 0
Your a dipshit you loose your virginity from intercourse not rupturing your hymen and can't loose it from an object
MiseryOG 4
Alright smartass. Since nobody has gotten this across your thick skull. Please just accept you are a virgin until a penis enters your ******... NOT A SHOE!
alpaquette91 9
402= best description megga win 402, megga win!!! But thank you, to all whom agrees with the truth aka what 402 said!
buzzbee21 3
Some girls arent even born with a hymen....so are they nonvirginsfrom birth??? Do ur research before u post stupid comments
kimee21_fml 15
well, it won't hurt for your first time :)
kapippenger 0
Apparently a small penis has told you that. Sorry to say but most likely it'll hurt, but then it feels good more than it hurts, if he doesn't suck.
RainbowHeadache 2
If you learn to relax your muscles & are pretty aroused (which widens the ******) or use lube, it shouldn't hurt. At least it didn't for me.
Enslaved 38
My first time was in the shower, so I saw my hymen in the tub afterwards. It was so cool to see. Just as I was getting a closer look my guy washed it down the drain! And I agree, the sex was super painful but a pleasant pain. It's hard to describe.
SteelCladAngel 0
The hymen doesn't actually come out, it's skin that tears causing the bleeding.
Enslaved 38
Now, I'm confused with what I saw because it looked like broken pieces of a thin skin membrane. I have no idea what it was now! It was still interesting to see.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
85, That's exactly how I remember it as well. Very painful, but an intoxicating kind of pain. Nature's got this one figured out.
ShyAnn29 15
You girls are lucky! My first time hurt like hell! But he was big and I was very tense so that could be why
gothiccandy 9
The hymen isn't an organ or something you can see when you have sex for the first time. It wouldn't even fall out, it's just a membrane that tears when your first penetrated and dissolves on it's own over time. So I'm calling BS on this.
xcrashxloved 0
meh not nevessarily true
inpuredeceit 14
Wow... That's pretty sad. At least when you do have sex you don't have to deal with it.
lmaoatall 6
To bad it wasn't a boot. Then we would have been able to enjoy all the puss in boots references. Fml!
evilplatypus 39
Doesn't work, that would be boot in puss
instnt1nfction 17
Are we gonna shove a shoe in a cat then?
Bunnehs 0
Oh dear. You're still a virgin. It doesn't count.
erpaderp 17
What the hell kind of shoe was it?
Adman567 9
Hi
tricia1234 1
Thats what i wanna noo
Snookie85 19
Ouch, that must have hurt!
ballbearing 10
The act of something entering a ****** does not mean you are no longer a virgin. Otherwise every 11 year old who uses a tampon is no longer a virgin. And really, a females hymen is usually ruptured through physical activity long before they ever have sex. So unless the shoe was on a mans penis(?) I am sure your still a virgin.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Ah, the image is hilarious!
xX_LilSammie_Xx 4
Thaaaaaank you. I'm reading this, thinking all the people FYLing her are retarded for thinking she's no longer a virgin do to being kicked.
rezzydaisy 2
I don't think they are FYLing because she thinks she lost her virginity to a shoe, more like she was kicked hard in the vag.