Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, my mom and I got into a fight about a topic we agreed on. Seems like we're destined to never get along. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML
Today, while trying to prove a point to my mom, I learned that bird seed tastes better than her cooking. FML
Today, my mother refused to agree with any of my logic because it's "not in The Bible." She can't find any fault with it, just refuses to agree with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend called my mother stupid and angrily argued with her at a family dinner. Why? We have a long-running family joke that "Vegan food doesn't contain calories," and my boyfriend thought my mum said it seriously, and was therefore a moron. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom. Apparently, my seeking medicinal treatments for my cancer is blasphemous. According to her, I should just pray my cancer away. FML
Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML
Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML
Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML
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Top comments
rawrface22 10
Chickens are reptiles , duh
sheethapins 13
74 No matter how you cook a tomato it's still a fruit. If you put lettuce in a parfait does that make it a fruit? If you wear socks outside are they magically shoes? The only time you can transform a fruit into a vegetable is if you completely paralyze Richard Simmons.
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Comments (196)
leahk1785 0
I'm pretty sure the biggest requirement for being a mammal is having mammory glands. Haha
Levvy 22
No, it's the ability to spell mammary. Congratulations; you're a reptile.
life2007 0
Anyone else wanting KFC now?
livexlifexlost 1
And you're too stupid to breathe.
Clayton2121 0
But they're not
LipstickLullabie_fml 1
Wrong. Cucumbers, squash, bell peppers, and okra have seeds. All veggies, love.
Fire_eyes 13
And she got the university degree where? McDonalds?
coredumpfml 4
Wow. Your mom isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer isn't she ?
okieraider71 4
22 Great answer!
white16sox 19
No dolphins are secret humans tomatoes are lawn gnomes conspiring to kill us and spiders are little aliens with 8 legs spying on us. Geez get it right.
Seamoose 0
Guys. Seriously. It's gone on long enough. I think everyone had got the point. They are not mammals they are freaking birds. It's common sense. Can it be left at that?