Today, I got into a fight with a lawnmower after walking backwards to pull around/avoid running over a root, and I tripped over a sitting log by our campfire and broke three of my toes (thankfully, a log half blocked the blades) so now I'm on crutches and need to wear a boot for 6-8 weeks, and I'm banned from mowing for the year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML
Today, I'm on crutches and wearing an orthopedic boot because a 22.5 pound box of cat litter fell out of my back hatch onto my foot. FML
Today, I managed to break my ankle by running it over with the wheelchair I've used on a daily basis for the last 6 years. FML
Today, I was getting ready for work. When I stepped back, my ankle rolled and my fat ass landed on it with my foot sideways under me. Now I’m in a boot for 6 weeks and have 6 weeks of physical therapy ahead of me. FML
Today, I fell down my backyard steps at my own housewarming party, ended up breaking my ankle, and am now non-weight bearing for 10 weeks. I'm supposed to start a new job tomorrow, where I'm always on my feet. FML
Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML
Today, as I was taking the garbage out, I tripped over my own feet, causing my knee to dislocate in such a way that it shattered the back of my kneecap and fractured my femur. I guess I won't be taking the garbage out again anytime soon. FML
Today, after a long day of working on my feet, I came home looking forward to soaking my aching feet in a foot spa. When I was pulling the machine out of a closet, it slipped and came crashing down on my feet. It broke. So did three of my toes. FML
Today, I was riding my bike when I passed a derelict house that recently burned. Curious, I dismounted and went inside. I stepped on a nail, and while I was staggering in agony, I hit a weak spot in the floor and broke my other leg. FML
Today, I was feeling motivated enough to try longboarding again after a long stint of being a couch potato. Not even 10 minutes into cruising down the road, my board catches on a rock. Now I've got a sprained wrist and two inches of road rash on my right arm. So much for getting a little exercise. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
That's creative! Can you figure out a way I can get banned from tedious chores, too? Please put your skills to shoveling snow and cleaning leaves from gutters? Thanks in advance.
Chazzster 32
(1) Always wear shoes, not sandals or flip flops - an old pair of sneakers are fine, as long as they are intact (no big holes) when mowing. It’s just about impossible to break your toes if you do that. And worse than that sometimes mowers shoot out a rock or other debris and you need all the protection you can get if that happens… (2) Inanimate objects or tools don’t “fight”. You did not have a fight with the lawnmower, you had an accident. I am pretty sure the mower went where you aimed it… I used to mow the lawn at my parents home when I was a teenager. My Dad very strongly emphasized the need to wear shoes or sneakers when I mowed. And you have to be very careful not to mow over garbage and loose debris. I once saw a small piece of metal go through the mower housing because the mower blade hit it. Fortunately it wasn’t heading directly for me - but they generally shoot out at foot or ankle height if it happens.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
That's creative! Can you figure out a way I can get banned from tedious chores, too? Please put your skills to shoveling snow and cleaning leaves from gutters? Thanks in advance.
Chazzster 32
(1) Always wear shoes, not sandals or flip flops - an old pair of sneakers are fine, as long as they are intact (no big holes) when mowing. It’s just about impossible to break your toes if you do that. And worse than that sometimes mowers shoot out a rock or other debris and you need all the protection you can get if that happens… (2) Inanimate objects or tools don’t “fight”. You did not have a fight with the lawnmower, you had an accident. I am pretty sure the mower went where you aimed it… I used to mow the lawn at my parents home when I was a teenager. My Dad very strongly emphasized the need to wear shoes or sneakers when I mowed. And you have to be very careful not to mow over garbage and loose debris. I once saw a small piece of metal go through the mower housing because the mower blade hit it. Fortunately it wasn’t heading directly for me - but they generally shoot out at foot or ankle height if it happens.
BurnInDemonFire 39
1) Watch where you're going in the future. B) Three broken toes, a boot on your foot, and a year-long ban from mowing the lawn is only a victory in the sense that you didn't die. Your clumsiness kicked your ass, and it could have been worse.