Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, my mom and I got into a fight about a topic we agreed on. Seems like we're destined to never get along. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML
Today, while trying to prove a point to my mom, I learned that bird seed tastes better than her cooking. FML
Today, my mother refused to agree with any of my logic because it's "not in The Bible." She can't find any fault with it, just refuses to agree with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend called my mother stupid and angrily argued with her at a family dinner. Why? We have a long-running family joke that "Vegan food doesn't contain calories," and my boyfriend thought my mum said it seriously, and was therefore a moron. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom. Apparently, my seeking medicinal treatments for my cancer is blasphemous. According to her, I should just pray my cancer away. FML
Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML
Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML
Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML
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Top comments
rawrface22 10
Chickens are reptiles , duh
sheethapins 13
74 No matter how you cook a tomato it's still a fruit. If you put lettuce in a parfait does that make it a fruit? If you wear socks outside are they magically shoes? The only time you can transform a fruit into a vegetable is if you completely paralyze Richard Simmons.
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Comments (196)
sheethapins 13
205 The real credit goes to my ass, it's where I pulled the joke out of on a whim.
cleolappost 0
wow ur mom is stupid!!!!
emmanizzer 6
I don't see why it matters if something is a fruit or a vegetable. We eat them both, they're both healthy (in moderation, of course), and they're in the same food group. Some are sweet, some are not; some have seeds, some do not; blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Now sit down and eat your damn food salad!
kurofuchs 5
Maybe shes thinking of a person in a chicken suit? If not, then what university gave her this degree?
anencephalic 14
170 - "Today the humans had a heated debate on sarcasm and tomatoes; I created these freaks? FML."
ronfeezy 0
Sorry, but your Mum is a bit daft. All mammals have mammary glands which produce milk, to feed their young. Chickens lack functioning mammary glands, and like all birds use other means of feeding their young. They are simply birds, which are almost as estranged from mammals as reptiles.
mattjakon 6
dolphins are mammals, spiders are arachnids and tomatoes are a fruit. what medication are you on?
mattjakon 6
in the dictionary it says a tomato is a fruit used as a vegetable.. I rest my case
hunterosscol 0
Shows how stupid women are
Beau_Overman 1
They're birds not mammals. Platypus's are the only mammals that lay eggs.
nature_girl_08 14
#291: actually, echidnas do as well :P